Abby Connolly
If you’ve ever been in therapy, you may have found yourself in a similar situation as me.
Several times, I’ve hopped on a call with my therapist, and then she asked me how my week was or how I was doing, and I responded with, “Good!” or “It’s been fine!”
Then, ten minutes into the session, I’d start venting about all the things that went wrong during the week and how I was experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety, which would lead her to ask, “So why would you tell me you’re doing fine?”
I know I’m not the only person who has lied to my therapist before. Many people have done it. The lies can range in severity.
You can do what I have done and lie about how you’re feeling, sugarcoat things, or even lie about an incident in your life for extra attention or sympathy. Or, you may be too embarrassed about something you’ve done or how you’ve reacted to something to admit it.
So many people have lied in therapy before, and there are many reasons why they do it. They may be in denial of their actions, too embarrassed to admit what they’ve done, are more focused on their therapists liking them than getting help, or simply may not want to relive a negative moment.
But here’s the thing – once you start lying to your therapist, it gets harder to stop, and it becomes more difficult to come clean the longer you keep up the lie.
To avoid lying to your therapist, you must be as honest and vulnerable as possible during your sessions. You can start by making a goal to share your thoughts as soon as you have them and feel the slightest urge to lie about them in any way.
I know we’re told in life to think before we speak, but that doesn’t apply in therapy. You have to be 100% honest, so your therapist can help you make lasting progress and changes.
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