He’s Raising His Little Brother After Their Parents Passed Away, And He’s Worried He’s Going To Mess Him Up
Fourteen weeks ago, this 23-year-old guy’s parents suddenly passed away. While he was not close to his mom and dad at all, it was still hard to lose them.
He became estranged from his parents since they were super traditional and called him a disappointment for failing college twice. He feels guilty for avoiding his parents, though, now that they are no longer here.
He has an 11-year-old brother named Henry, and since nobody was available to take care of him, he took him in, as he was scared he would be placed in foster care. Henry grew up being homeschooled, and he was never a part of his life.
Now, he just graduated from college and landed his first real job, but he had no choice but to quit before he began his career.
He wasn’t able to grieve the loss of his parents, hold down a job, and care for Henry at the same time. In hindsight, he thinks he made a poor choice in quitting his job, but he couldn’t juggle it all.
“Henry is polite, nice, enjoyable to be with, [and] helps out around the house however he can,” he explained.
“So I don’t know why I am struggling so much with him living with me. In some ways, my parents really babied him, and in others, they expected too much.”
“For example, he still co-slept with them and had a 6 p.m. bedtime; they would only let him watch TV shows/movies made for babies and really young children.”
He had babyish toys but had to do nearly every single chore at home. Henry has no idea that how he was raised isn’t normal, but why would he when that’s all he’s ever known?
F8 \ Suport Ukraine – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Henry stated that he wanted to live with him instead of in their mom and dad’s home, and he thinks this is a new beginning for him.
As soon as Henry came to his house, he placed him on a waiting list to get into a local school, but since they’re all at max capacity, Henry might not be able to attend until after Christmas.
However, Henry is getting two hours a day of tutoring in the meantime, and the tutors assessed Henry at the intelligence level of a 6 or 7-year-old.
It’s not that Henry is limited in any way; it’s just that their parents didn’t educate him well, and he can hardly read because of that.
Now that the reality of caring for Henry is hitting him, he’s so worried he’s going to mess him up or be a terrible parent to him.
“He does everything he can; I know our parents made him do a lot of chores around the house, but I told him while he’s settling, he doesn’t need to do anything, and we think about chores in a few months or so,” he added.
“But even though I told him, he will still randomly clean the house, do the laundry, wash the dishes, whatever. Even though I say to him he doesn’t need to, he still does it. That’s what type of kid he is; he is so sweet and kind, and I am so worried I’m going to ruin him. I don’t want him to turn out like a disappointment like I have.”
He cannot help but think that every decision he makes regarding Henry might not be the right one. He knows he’s not an excellent parent by any means, but he would hate if Henry had to go into the foster care system.
“I would hate myself if that happened. I just don’t want to ruin him,” he concluded.
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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