7 Ways To Win Your Ex Back After Getting Dumped
Are You Trying To Win Your Ex Back?
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Getting dumped hurts in ways that words can rarely capture. One day, you’re creating memories and making plans for the future, and the next, you’re left replaying everything in your head, wondering where it all went wrong.
If you’re thinking about trying to win your ex back, know that you’re not alone (and you’re not crazy). Love is messy, and sometimes, two people just need separation, personal growth, and the right approach to find their way back to each other.
Here Are 7 Ways To Help You Rekindle Things With Your Ex
Still, the truth is that winning your ex back isn’t about begging, bargaining, or trying to “prove” your worth. Instead, it’s about healing and evolving, which may eventually allow you to connect again from a stronger, more grounded place.
So, here are seven steps to give you the best shot at rekindling your relationship with your ex the right way.
1. First, Give Your Ex Time And Space To Process
It can be tempting to reach out, plead your case, or seek immediate closure before the dust of your breakup has even settled. Yet the best thing you can do right now is take a step back.
Giving your ex time and space alone allows both of you to breathe, reflect, and cool down. This isn’t just about giving them a chance to miss you, either. Rather, you’re also providing yourself the opportunity to stabilize your emotions and reconnect with who you are outside of the relationship.
2. Then, When You’re Ready, Make Your Feelings Known
There’s no one-size-fits-all grieving timeline when it comes to breakups, so you’ll have to be your own judge. Once you’ve regained a sense of balance and normalcy in your day-to-day life, take stock of whether you still want your ex back.
If you do, it’s time to be honest and reach out to them. You can mail them a handwritten letter, give them a phone call, or send them a simple text. Just let them know where you stand without playing any games.
The goal here isn’t to pressure your ex or win them over with some grand speech. It’s just to be vulnerable and share your truth with some quiet strength and self-respect.
3. Afterward, Cut Contact And Start To Move On
This might sound counterintuitive, but if your ex doesn’t respond the way you’d hoped or they stay silent altogether, don’t fall into the trap of chasing them. Just take another step back and realize you need to focus on yourself.
Cutting off contact right after you express your true feelings can be brutal, but you’ll find that it’s also empowering. It shows that you respect yourself enough not to cling to where you’re not wanted.
Ironically, by moving forward with your life instead of waiting around, you will spark some curiosity and possibly even longing in your ex. And if you don’t? Well, you’ll have taken a major step toward your own healing, which is much more important.
4. In The Meantime, Work On Yourself And Be Present
While things are quiet between you and your ex, stop worrying about them and turn that focus inward. Ask yourself where you can grow and what areas of your life you’ve been neglecting.
Try out the hobby you became interested in months ago, invest in your health, or spend more time with your friends. Not only will genuine self-improvement make you more attractive to others, something that your ex may notice, but it’ll also rebuild your own foundation, showing you how good it feels to thrive on your own terms.
5. Prioritize Positivity On Social Media, Not Resentment
It’s important to make a specific note about social media, which has become a go-to way to vent nowadays. Keep in mind that platforms from Instagram to TikTok can either be used as a weapon against yourself or a tool for growth.
So, resist the urge to post things like bitter memes about love or vague, angry captions. Sure, your ex may see it, but it’s not going to make you happier or heighten the chance that you two get back together.
Rather, if you really want to use social media, view it as a way to showcase your evolution. Share the new adventures you’re going on or talk about the personal milestones you’re achieving. The energy you put out into the world speaks the loudest, and staying positive will keep you moving forward.
6. Also, Leave Some Things Up To The Imagination
With all that being said, over-sharing about your growth can suck the magic right out of it. Again, since so many people are on social media today, it’s not uncommon for the same person to post constantly.
You, on the other hand, can keep a little mystery alive. You don’t need to broadcast every single move you make or thought you have. A little distance and a little curiosity will keep things interesting.
Not to mention, it will remind your ex (and yourself) that you’re living a life full of new layers, some of which they don’t have any access to.
7. Put Your Self-Confidence First
Finally, nothing is more magnetic than real confidence. You should aim to rebuild your sense of self by recognizing your own worth as opposed to seeking outside validation.
You can start by accepting that you’re an imperfect human being (like everyone else) and celebrating your strengths. And make sure to go about your day-to-day life knowing that you’re enough, with or without your ex in the picture.
When you reclaim your sense of power, you’re making yourself a more complete individual and laying the groundwork for a stronger relationship, whether that’s with your ex or someone new.
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