Some parents don’t raise their kids; they farm out the job and make it someone else’s problem. But when they hand off the late nights and daily stress to their oldest child under the guise of that’s what it means to help your family, that’s not right.
What they’re really doing is outsourcing their responsibilities onto someone too young to say no, and when that person finally wants out of playing parent, suddenly they’re selfish.
She didn’t betray her mom and dad for refusing to help them parent their youngest kids; she just stopped playing the role they cast her in without asking.
Two months ago, this 23-year-old girl moved out of her mom and dad’s house, and now her parents are acting as if she ruined all their lives.
Now, she’s always lived at home, even while going to college, and she has three little siblings who are five, eight, and ten. As the oldest, her parents expected her to be the babysitter they needed. But not just that, they pretty much turned her into a mom.
“I handled school drop-offs, pick-ups, meals, homework, and bedtime while my parents worked long hours. I didn’t complain much because I love my siblings, but it was exhausting,” she explained.
“When I turned 21, my parents sat me down and said, ‘You’re an adult now, and adults pay rent.’ They started charging me $600/month.”
“I thought, okay, fine, it’s still cheaper than moving out, and I can help my family. But nothing changed about my role in the house. I was still raising their kids on top of paying rent.”
After she graduated from college, she landed a job and found a place to rent with one of her friends. When she packed up her belongings and left home, her parents acted like she was some kind of backstabber.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Her mom accused her of not being grateful and deserting their family. Her mom then told all her little siblings she no longer wanted to be with them anymore, which crushed them.
Her parents still want her to be their free babysitter and constantly badger her about it, but when she says no, they throw it in her face that they do not have any money to hire someone else to help.
Then, a week ago, she was FaceTiming her sister and helping her with homework when she slipped up and stated that their parents purchased a brand-new hot tub with that rent money she paid them.
“At first, I thought she was just confused. But then my cousin (whom my mom bragged to) confirmed it: my parents had been saving my ‘rent’ to buy luxury stuff. Apparently, the hot tub was ‘their reward’ for all the sacrifices they’ve made raising kids,” she continued.
“So all this time, I was basically paying for them to live it up while I cooked, cleaned, and parented their kids. When I confronted my mom, she said: ‘It’s our house, our rules. If we wanted to save your rent for vacations, that’s our right. We don’t owe you an explanation.’ Then she told me I was ‘selfish’ for even asking.”
“Now my siblings cry on FaceTime because I don’t visit as much, my parents guilt-trip me daily, and my relatives say I ‘owe my family loyalty.’ But TBH I feel VERY used.”
Do you think she was wrong to move out and stop helping her parents essentially raise her siblings?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
