There’s a specific kind of tension that shows up in female friendships when you’re expected to stay polite, even when someone else’s behavior is directly affecting your peace.
She didn’t call out her roommate to be cruel; she did it because the smell was taking over her apartment and her social life. But the second she said something, she was treated like she crossed the line.
That’s the tradeoff too many women are forced into: say something and risk the friendship, or say nothing and live with the discomfort.
This 22-year-old woman shares an apartment with her 23-year-old roommate, and they both have their own bedrooms. They’ve been close since back in their freshman year of college, and her roommate is overall a joy to live with.
However, there’s one enormous problem with her roommate: this girl hardly showers and has bad hygiene because of it. Her roommate frequently goes four to five days without showering at all, and it’s gross.
“At first, I didn’t want to say anything because hygiene can be kind of personal, and I didn’t want to sound judgmental. But the smell is taking over the entire apartment,” she explained.
“Her room smells musty, her bedsheets definitely haven’t been washed in forever, and when she sits on the couch, the cushions actually hold the smell for hours.”
“It’s gotten to the point where friends have noticed. I had a couple [of] girls over for wine night, and one of them texted me later asking what was going on with my roommate because the place smelled rough. I was mortified.”
Several days ago, she worked up the courage to confront her roommate, but she did it in the kindest way possible. She gently said to her roommate that she should consider showering on a more consistent basis, as their apartment is pretty smelly.
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Instead of listening to her, her roommate got offended and accused her of playing mom while being controlling. Her roommate snapped that she could get some candles or open the windows if she’s that irritated.
Her roommate has hardly spoken to her since then.
“One of our mutual friends even told me I was wrong for saying anything because everyone has their own lifestyle and I should just deal with it,” she continued.
I don’t see anything wrong with her wanting to live in an apartment that doesn’t smell disgusting. Sure, it’s uncomfortable to address the elephant in the room, but I believe she did the right thing.
Do you think she was rude to ask her roommate to shower more?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
