Picture this: you’re 12 years old, learn that your father is cheating on your mom, and happen to realize he and his affair partner left their cell phones unattended in the same room as you. What would you do?
This 20-year-old man found himself in the same situation eight years ago, and he decided to take matters into his own hands by opening up the phones, texting their colleagues and bosses about the affair, and “ruining” his dad’s and now-stepmother’s reputations. And he refuses to apologize for it to this day.
To set the scene, he’d already known about the infidelity leading up to that moment. Apparently, his parents were in the process of getting a divorce, and his dad was already living with his affair partner.
Then, while he was at his dad’s house one day, he took their phones, found their work contacts (including their bosses), and messaged everyone, exposing the affair and badmouthing the pair in other ways.
It was his dad’s mistress-turned-second wife who first uncovered what he’d done, and she totally flipped out.
“I laughed in her face pretty much, and when dad realized, he was calmer but asked me why I’d do something like that,” he recalled.
“I said something like actions have consequences, and how he used to tell me that all the time.”
As you can probably imagine, this whole debacle caused huge issues in their family for the next year. He also never apologized, and eventually, his dad and stepmother stopped allowing him to visit their home.
“Because I used to gloat that there was nobody I wouldn’t tell,” he said.
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So, he’s only seen his dad a handful of times since. And after they got together for a family dinner at his grandparents’ house for the first time in four years this past weekend, the drama all bubbled to the surface again.
Perhaps surprisingly, though, it was his stepmom who brought the topic up at the dinner table. She began talking about how he’d “ruined” their reputations, which have never recovered, and argued that he still owed her and his dad a big apology.
“She said I could have cost them everything, and what did I expect them to do. I told her she didn’t want me to answer that because my opinion of them wasn’t very high,” he detailed.
Afterward, he refused to apologize again, and his stepmom continued to fight it. Meanwhile, his grandparents tried to get her to stop, yet she supposedly kept “sulking” and throwing a pity party for herself and his father.
It took his stepmom another hour before she began demanding an apology again, and at that point, his grandparents finally asked her and his dad to leave.
Once they were gone, his grandparents admitted to regretting even inviting them. As for most of his aunts and uncles, they thought the whole situation was comical.
“One of my uncles even told me that dad and his wife have cheated on each other at least three times, which made me so happy,” he revealed.
“Apparently, they’re sensitive about it, which is why she shut up when I told her she didn’t want to know what I’d expect them to do.”
However, one of his aunts did go against the grain and felt he should’ve just said he was sorry for the sake of the “time and place” they were in. She also accused him of “doing too much” and being wrong for involving himself in their business.
He honestly doesn’t regret how he handled everything or not apologizing because he truly isn’t sorry. Nonetheless, in the wake of the dinner, he’s wondering if never saying sorry really does make him a jerk.
What would you have done in his shoes at just 12 years old? If his dad and stepmom’s reputations were ruined over the truth, was it their own fault? Should he apologize or not?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
