Money and parenting rarely mix neatly, especially when a family isn’t bound by just one household. She thought she’d struck a healthy balance: she saves for her daughter’s future while still helping raise her boyfriend’s son from a previous relationship.
But when her boyfriend’s ex found out that she was planning to send her daughter to private school, and not her stepson, everything blew up.
This woman and her boyfriend share one child together, and they are not yet married. Her boyfriend has a 10-year-old son from a prior relationship, and they equally split custody of her stepson with his biological mom.
She makes a decent amount more money than her boyfriend does, but it’s not an insane amount more than what he takes home every month. She excels at saving, so that’s why she is more financially stable than he is.
“Since our child was born, I have been putting money into a savings account for her and will continue to do so towards a house deposit when she is older, and also saving a fund towards private school,” she explained.
As for her boyfriend, he has not been saving anything for their daughter or for his own son. Her stepson’s mom is also not setting money aside for the kid.
However, ever since her stepson’s mom heard about how she’s been considering different private school options for her daughter, this woman has been accusing her of treating her stepson in an unfair way.
This couldn’t be further from the truth, as she has spent her hard-earned money on her stepson to buy him new clothes, take him on vacations, and have him participate in various activities.
She also hired a private tutor for this kid, and she treats him as if he were her own child. The whole private school thing has created a major mess with her stepson’s mom.
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“I would love for him to have the same opportunities as my daughter, but he has two parents, and I can’t understand why it’s all up to me to save for both children or why my biological child should miss out on the opportunities I am trying to create for her,” she continued.
“It’s confusing, as a stepparent, one minute you get told to treat them as your own, and the next minute you get told not to overstep because you aren’t their mum.”
She’s already stepped up for her stepson in ways that go beyond a checkbook, and it’s not her job to fix every gap his parents leave behind.
What she’s doing isn’t favoritism at all. Wanting your child to have stability and opportunity is responsible. Still, every blended family has to decide for themselves where support ends and self-sacrifice begins. The line gets blurry, but guilt shouldn’t be the thing that draws it.
Do you think she’s wrong for not wanting to pay for her stepson to attend private school?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
