If you were engaged to someone who kicked you out of the house amid an ugly argument and made it seem like your relationship was over, do you think they would then be entitled to being angry at you for sleeping with someone else?
A couple of months ago, this woman and her fiancé got into a blowout fight over something quite little, but everything amplified from there.
Her fiancé yelled at her a lot, kicked her out of the house, and literally told her to never come back, so she took that to mean that he was dumping her.
“I tried to argue that being kicked out is a huge step and he should really consider if that is what he wanted, but that made him even more upset, and he told me to pack essential stuff for a couple of days and to ‘now just leave,'” she explained.
“He said we would talk later. Three days later, I called him. We had a short talk about what had happened, and he told me I could come and collect the rest of my belongings in about a week.”
“Then he also told me to not contact him in the meantime because he didn’t want any further contact. At that point, it genuinely felt like our relationship was over. Neither of us literally said it was over, but in my mind it was quite clear. I was devastated.”
After her fiancé kicked her out, she went to stay with her best friend. Following the phone call, her best friend said they should have a night out on the town to help her stop thinking about the mess with her fiancé.
She agreed and wound up sleeping with a guy she talked to and danced with for all of Saturday night.
On the day she went to get the rest of her belongings from her fiancé, he asked her to sit down and talk to him prior to packing up.
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They spent multiple hours discussing things and came to the conclusion that they were not interested in throwing their relationship away.
“We agreed to try again. Looking back, I probably should have told him immediately about what had happened while we were apart. But honestly, it wasn’t even on my mind at that moment because I was focused on us getting back together,” she continued.
“A few days later, after I had moved back in, he asked me where I had stayed and what I had done while I was away. I answered honestly and told him everything, including that I had slept with someone else.”
“He became very angry and accused me of cheating. I told him that being told to leave, never come back, and not contact him anymore felt like our relationship was over, plus the fact that I had been given a date to collect my belongings made me genuinely believe that our relationship was over.”
So while her fiancé is insisting that she’s a cheater, she doesn’t view what happened in the same way, because she was under the impression he had broken up with her.
She’s left wondering if she was wrong to sleep with another man after her fiancé kicked her out of their house and made it seem like their relationship was over.
Let’s talk about how they’re not ready to get married at all. No fight should ever escalate to the point where one person kicks the other person out of the house and goes nuclear, because that’s not a mature or rational way to handle conflict.
As for her immediately hooking up with another guy after getting kicked out, of course, that kills off any ability to reconcile, but that doesn’t make her a cheater.
It did seem like her fiancé broke up with her, so you can’t slap an infidelity label on her; however, this relationship sounds incredibly toxic, and I don’t think her fiancé will be able to overcome that other man, which might not be a bad thing because they don’t sound like people who would succeed in a marriage.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
