If your ex-spouse came crawling back to you while still with someone else, would you tell that person the truth, or keep it to yourself?
It’s been exactly two years and four months since this woman got divorced, and she shares two little kids with her ex-husband. She was actually the one who filed after her ex abandoned her and their kids.
“It killed me to file because I wanted our family unit to stay intact, but he would not go to marriage counseling or put in any effort into the marriage, so I had no choice but to leave,” she explained.
She got primary custody, and although her ex was granted every other weekend, he decided not to take all of that time with their kids for whatever reason.
At the end of last year, her ex began dating his current girlfriend and letting her spend time around their kids. Her kids told her about her ex’s new girlfriend before he even mentioned it to her.
“Not sure how long they dated, but I know that at some point, according to my ex-husband, he and his girlfriend split in March of this year, and he was trying to get back with me in April of this year,” she explained.
“Like a fool, I played into it and believed he really wanted his family back. So we slowly started working on reconciliation. I didn’t want to move too fast in case things didn’t work out because I didn’t want to re-confuse the children.”
“Well, this went on for about 6 weeks, then towards the end of May, he started withdrawing affection from me, not communicating, and acting weird. He is back with the girlfriend but isn’t denying it or admitting to it.”
He completely avoided the subject, so she doubled down and demanded to know why he was attempting to reconcile their marriage and win her back if he was still with his girlfriend.
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Her ex stated that he was only trying to be kind to her for Mother’s Day and for their kids. But he hugged her, touched her, invited her over, came to her house, and brought up old memories.
He was actively trying to get her back, there’s no denying it, even though he for sure did. She let her ex know he was never allowed to speak to her ever again unless it was related to their kids.
She also added that he wasn’t permitted to touch her for the rest of his life.
“He has been in my texts trying to find a reason to talk to me and smooth things over ever since. As a girl’s girl, none of this sits right with me,” she continued.
“If I were his girlfriend, I’d want to know that he tried to reconcile with his ex-wife and was still trying to keep in communication with her. But then the other side of me is like…it’s their business, and it’s up to her to figure him out on her own like I had to.”
“For example, he was married before he married me, and he didn’t disclose that to me. First wife reached out to me, and I was thankful, but I know not everyone welcomes an ex telling them the truth.”
I think her ex’s girlfriend has enough information by now to know he’s a deadbeat dad, which she clearly is fine with. So, no, she shouldn’t concern herself with trying to tip this girl off further to her ex’s true colors.
I’m afraid she will just come across as bitter or jealous, and that this girl will absolutely not believe her. However, if this girl ever reaches out to her to ask about the truth, she should tell her.
What do you think she should do?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
