A personal trainer is so much more than just a human being pushing you to hit a new record. They’re motivational speakers, support systems, and professional cheerleaders all wrapped into one very fit package.
When you’re getting that kind of one-on-one attention, combined with the raw, physical intensity of a workout, it’s easy to see how the lines get blurred.
It’s a strangely intimate experience to have someone witness your struggle and inspire your growth, but for one wife, that inspiration has turned into a total obsession, and it’s scaring her husband.
This 38-year-old man has been married to his 38-year-old wife for a decade, and over the past few years, she’s always been passionate about her fitness.
She’s shown an interest in cycling, running, and going to the gym, but a year ago, she mentioned wanting to work on her strength.
She began lifting weights at her gym, and a couple of months back, she said she wanted one of the personal trainers to help her do a better job.
“She was really enjoying it and about a month ago upped it from two sessions a week to three. There has been a notable change in her strength, and I was happy for her as she seemed really proud of herself,” he explained.
“Then this weekend she dropped a bombshell on me. I had noticed our [romantic] life had pretty much come to a stop a couple of months ago, and I spoke to her about it, and she said she was sorry, it was just the stress of starting a new job mixed with the cold weather, and she just wasn’t in the mood.”
“I thought that was fair enough, and I’d leave it and let her lead the pace when she was ready to again. Well, this weekend she told me that she has developed a very intense crush on her PT and that while she knows crushes happen in relationships, this feels like it’s more.”
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His wife says she goes out of her way to get attention from her personal trainer on social media and while she’s at the gym. She’s even tagged the guy in all of her posts, but he was under the impression she was giving him credit for helping her, not trying to get him to notice her more.
His wife has also started wearing less clothing to catch this guy’s eye, and he hadn’t even picked up on that, since she changes at the gym.
Making this all uglier, his wife thought about her personal trainer the last time they hooked up, and that’s why she quit in the middle. Apparently, the guilt was too much.
“Probably the worst thing she told me was that a few days ago she saw him having a personal session with someone else, a younger woman [closer to] his age, and she saw them laughing together, and she got [so] jealous and upset she had to leave the gym and go cry in her car,” he added.
“She said he has done nothing to encourage this and has been nothing but professional throughout all this, and he is not at fault. I don’t know what to do, I’m crushed. Do I just sit back and wait for the crush to stop?”
He’s also thought about requesting that his wife block her personal trainer and switch to a new gym where she has no chance of running into this guy.
He does understand everyone can catch a crush once and awhile and that it blows over, but his wife’s infatuation with her personal trainer seems to be far deeper than your standard fondness for someone outside of your marriage.
He’s afraid that his wife will not be able to overcome her feelings for her personal trainer, since she is so heavily invested in his life.
“I feel like distance is how you get over this, but I don’t want to come across as controlling. What do you think? She doesn’t want to change anything and thinks it will just go away on its own,” he continued.
I want to sit here and say that the average person picks up on their dangerous feelings and puts space in between them and their crush, but his wife did the opposite. She played right into it, and she just added gasoline to the fires of love.
I think he should sadly reconsider being married to his wife, since it’s not normal to sit in your car and sob because you’re that jealous of your personal trainer interacting with another woman.
His wife doesn’t just find her personal trainer hot; she’s been pursuing him, and I don’t see how he can remain in his marriage in light of that. She failed to make him and their marriage a priority.
What advice do you have for him? Can a crush actually go away on its own if you are still seeing the person three times a week and tagging them on Instagram?
Is thinking of someone else while getting it on with your spouse and then stopping a mistake, or is it a sign that the emotional connection to your partner is already severed and your marriage is as good as over?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
