In 2026, it’s not uncommon for people in committed relationships to say they’re “dating” their boyfriend or girlfriend. But back in the day, dating began as a more casual activity, marking a shift from arranged matches as potential couples started meeting and mingling first, before deciding whether to take the next step.
That’s why there’s a bit of a debate over the expectations of “dating” today. Some people think you should only talk to one person at a time, while others have no problem maintaining a roster and seeing multiple suitors at once.
It seems that one guy’s differing perspective on the matter recently landed him in hot water with a woman, too, since she saw him out on a date with another girl and ghosted him afterward.
To give you some background, he’s quite new to online dating and went on a first date with one girl he met on the internet. And because he thought everything went well, he asked her out on a second date.
Well, shortly before their planned second outing, the girl canceled at the last minute, saying she was sick. He doesn’t fault her for that either, but he did pick up on the fact that after canceling, she didn’t propose rescheduling.
“Which, for me, was a sign of her not being interested,” he recalled.
“So, things stayed a bit vague, even though she kept texting lightly, but in a friendly way.”
Now, he admits that he’s not normally a fan of keeping a roster or dating various people at once. Regardless, since this specific girl struck him as uninterested and her intentions remained unclear, he didn’t want to just wait around.
That led him to accept another first date with a different woman. And coincidentally, after they nailed down that plan together, the initial girl he’d gone out with actually texted him and flat-out said she wanted to see him again.
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“I said yes, genuinely. At that point, nothing exclusive had ever been discussed,” he noted.
Well, he happened to go out on a date with the new woman first, and things seemingly went so well that they wound up making out by the end. But by pure coincidence, the first girl happened to walk past and see him hooking up with the new woman.
So, the following morning, he received a text from the first girl, who admitted she’d seen him on his date. Then, she went totally quiet and never answered when he reached out to confirm their second date three days later.
This has left him feeling pretty confused about the ethical rules of dating, particularly when you have multiple prospects.
“Was it wrong to keep dating someone else after agreeing to see the first girl again, even without exclusivity? Is her silent withdrawal a common or understandable reaction in this situation?” he asked.
Are you allowed to date whoever you want until exclusivity is agreed upon? Did the first girl have the right to ghost him or not? How would you handle this?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
