Family may come first, but in the event of a divorce, the job market doesn’t care about the years you spent raising children; it only sees that glaring gap on your resume.
This is the dilemma she’s now facing after her husband asked her to trade her professional identity for a life at home. Rather than blindly relying on the hope of being married to him forever, she offered up an interesting proposition in order to protect herself: a seat at the table of his business.
It’s a move that has left her friends appalled, but it raises a searing question: Is it rude for stay-at-home moms and housewives to want financial protection, or is it simply smart to refuse to be a doormat for the sake of tradition?
This woman and her husband are both 35, and they have two kids together with another on the way. Not too long ago, her husband mentioned that he wants her to quit her job and be a stay-at-home mom/housewife.
“I felt very disturbed with this proposal, but he explained that it would suit our family and children, considering that he could afford a comfortable standard of living,” she said.
“Several weeks later, after contemplation, I told him that I would be glad to comply, however, on the condition that I will get half of the company.”
“This request surprised him, and I responded that staying at home would decrease my chances of finding a well-paying job in case our marriage failed, which will decrease my future income-earning capacity. Besides, he would still be earning higher yearly incomes.”
She thinks getting half of his business is an equitable arrangement, considering everything she will have to give up and the risks she will have to take, forgoing her own source of income while canceling her career.
If their marriage succeeds, it won’t be important for her to have such a big chunk of her husband’s company because what’s his is also hers, and vice versa.
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But if it fails, she sees this as a worthy way to make her whole.
Her husband has said to her that if she were the one caring for the kids instead of nannies or putting them in daycare, it would alleviate a lot of his stress and anxiety.
She is not thrilled that her friends don’t support her and think she’s being foolish. Her best friend actually referred to her as “disgusting” for wanting half of her husband’s company, which really blindsided her.
She’s left wondering if it is rude of her to expect her husband to give her a safety net in order to quit her job to stay home with the kids.
I think she’s being smart in trying to protect herself, because none of us has a crystal ball that can predict the future. She’s sacrificing her financial independence, among other things, and she should have some sort of guarantee here that she won’t be put in a bad situation.
What do you think? Is it greedy to want a safety net, or is it gross to expect a woman to sacrifice her career without any guarantee of her future security?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
