Planning a surprise birthday dinner for your boyfriend takes a lot of thought and effort, and she generously put in both. But a single phone call from her mom right before they left turned the whole night upside down, and it had nothing to do with anything her mom actually did.
For the last three years, this 26-year-old woman’s been dating her 29-year-old boyfriend, and one problem in their relationship is how much he complains about her mom.
Her mom raised her all alone after her dad walked out on them twenty years ago. She has an extremely close bond with her mom, and while her mom isn’t a helicopter parent, she’s defensive of her.
“My boyfriend has always said she’s too involved in my life, but honestly, she barely interferes. She doesn’t show up unannounced, she doesn’t control my decisions, she just checks in a lot,” she explained.
“Last weekend, I planned a surprise birthday dinner for him. I booked a small restaurant, invited his close friends, [and] even paid the deposit myself because he’s been stressed financially lately.”
Right before they headed to the restaurant for her boyfriend’s birthday, her mom called to talk to him. So, she placed her mom on speakerphone to chat with her boyfriend as they were getting themselves ready.
Her mom was completely kind to her boyfriend over the phone, mentioning she’s very proud of how hard he works and she really hopes he has a wonderful year.
What her mom said was lovely and something anyone would be appreciative of. Except for her boyfriend.
“After I hung up, he laughed and said, Your mom acts like she’s my second girlfriend. It’s kind of embarrassing. I thought he was joking, but he kept going,” she added.
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“He said it’s weird how close we are and that when we get married, he expects me to prioritize my real family. That really hit me. I told him my mom is my real family. He rolled his eyes and said You know what I mean.”
“I suddenly didn’t feel excited about the dinner anymore. I felt embarrassed and hurt. I ended up canceling the reservation and told his friends [that] something came up. He found out and was furious. He said I overreacted and ruined his birthday over a joke.”
Her boyfriend’s friends called her petty and texted her to unload. They stated she should have spoken to her boyfriend after the dinner about the mean comments he made about her mom.
Her boyfriend has yet to say sorry while insisting that her mom controls her feelings, and her reaction is proof of what he’s been saying about her mom all along.
She has not told her mom about the rude things her boyfriend said about her, but she’s curious if she was wrong to ruin her boyfriend’s birthday dinner at the last minute.
Wow, is her boyfriend a jerk. I can’t believe he could be so awful about her mom, and maybe he’s jealous of how close they are. She did the right thing, canceling his birthday dinner, and she should dump him, too, over this.
He sounds controlling and like he doesn’t want her to have a relationship with her mom at all. It’s crazy to me that he’s not ashamed of himself, but that would require him to be a good person, which he isn’t.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
