Would cheating alone be enough to make you instantly fall out of love with your partner, or would you still want to give the relationship a shot?
This 26-year-old woman has spent the last eight years with her 27-year-old husband, and they got married a year and a half ago. They have two kids, a 10-month-old and a 2-year-old.
Their time spent together has been somewhat turbulent, but she chalks that up to them being quite young. As the years went on, they did grow up, and things were wonderful for a long period of time.
“When my first was 10 months old, my husband (at the time fiancé) went on a bachelor trip and cheated on me. When he came back, he didn’t say anything for a whole day, just acted very off, and I put it off as being hungover,” she explained.
“The next day, he called me while he was at work, and I was at my mom’s with my son, putting together bridesmaids’ bouquets. It was about 1 p.m., and he asked if I could go home so we could talk.”
“His great grandma had just had a bad fall a week prior, and I thought he was going to tell me she passed away, that’s how much I trusted him. I wasn’t even thinking [that anything] else could be going on.”
She asked him to come to her mom’s house, and after he arrived, he revealed that he had not been faithful. She kicked him out and then phoned all of the other men who had been on the bachelor trip with him, in addition to their girlfriends and wives, to get the story.
Essentially, a lot of the guys had messed up, and she discovered that her husband had lied to her face. She moved out of their house for several days, and after she returned, he went to stay in a hotel.
She was furious and humiliated because he cheated on her with someone nearly 30 years her senior when they were months away from their wedding day.
“…All [of a] sudden, this perfect life I thought I had built came crumbling down. I chose to stay and try to work things out for my son. We did couples therapy, and it took a couple of months for me to stop thinking of the situation,” she added.
“Every now and then, it would pop into my head, but never like it is now. Since then, we have gotten married and had a second child.”
“This July is the 2nd anniversary of him cheating, and my second child is now the same age as my first was when it happened, and it has brought up a lot for me. I won’t say I regret my decision to work things out with him because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have my second child.”
She realizes some people will say she made a mistake having another child with her husband, but she loves her kids so much.
As for her husband, well, she has fallen out of love with him. She feels sick to her stomach anytime she’s near her husband. She hates talking to him, she hates looking at him (even though he’s very handsome), and she hates kissing him.
She did tell her husband about her feelings, and he has given her some space to address them. The more she thinks about everything, though, the more miserable she is.
“This all started around the middle of June, and it’s progressively getting worse. How long should I wait this out before I have to try something else other than waiting?” she wondered.
“I know people who stay in relationships for years and are miserable, and I don’t want to be that way. I also don’t want to be (almost) 27 and a single mom of 2 kids.”
Well, if she has any interest in saving her marriage, going back to couples counseling could help, in addition to her going to therapy alone to work through her emotions.
I don’t think it’s just the cheating that’s the problem here; it’s that her husband lied on top of it, and that’s hard to overcome. Her husband put her in a bad situation, didn’t he?
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
