Being an affair child is something he didn’t have a say in, as we can’t choose who we’re born to, but his half-siblings made sure he paid for it anyway.
He spent years on the receiving end of their cruelty, and now that his grandparents are expecting them to make amends with him, he’s not exactly jumping at the chance for olive branches, because it’s just too late for that.
This 20-year-old man is the product of an affair, and his dad was married back when he met his mom. His dad’s wife at the time decided to remain in their marriage and forgave him for cheating.
His dad saw him a handful of times annually back when he was little. As for his dad’s parents and sisters, they made a great effort to spend time with him and became important parts of his life, which he’s endlessly grateful for.
His mom had to undergo a serious surgery and spent a couple of weeks recovering, and his dad’s parents allowed him to stay with them, welcoming him with open arms.
He did see his half-siblings, his dad’s other kids, a bit when he was younger, and every time was terrible.
“They hated me, which is fair, and I don’t hold anything against them for feeling a certain way. But they took that hatred out on me,” he explained.
“They threatened me, called me disabled slurs because I have a disability, told me I should never have existed and should never be allowed to interact with any of their family…”
They yelled at him for referring to them as his siblings and were horrifically cruel to him. They are all a lot older than he is, and the age gaps range from 8 to 13 years.
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Occasionally, he was concerned that his half-siblings would make good on the threats they came up with for him and his mom. He wishes they had chosen to pretend he didn’t exist instead of being so mean to him.
He’s still upset with their behavior towards him, especially since nothing has improved as time has gone by. In fact, everything remained the same. They never warmed up to him.
“They loved their dad and defended him and tried to make it my fault and all my mom’s fault. Their mom was the same, so it’s understandable to a point,” he said.
“But even as adults, they continued acting like that. They continued with all the threats and insults and placing the blame on me and my mom alone. My mom didn’t know he was married.”
“She was also younger than I am now and still in high school, which adds another layer to all of this. That always bothered me. I think he’s a creep, and I was always pretty angry with him and found him weird. It was another thing my half-siblings hated me for and defended him on. But it all stemmed from me being an affair child.”
His dad has since gotten divorced, and his half-siblings no longer speak to his dad. His dad’s parents were hoping this would finally make his half-siblings see that he’s not a bad person, so they tried to organize bringing them together.
He figured this out and made it clear to his grandparents that he wants nothing to do with his half-siblings. He clarified that nothing will make up for the things they did and said.
Additionally, his half-siblings told his grandparents they still wanted to keep him away, which is hurtful to his grandparents. His grandparents have suggested that he not shut the door on his half-siblings so that he can have a relationship with them down the line.
“They begged me not to reject all possibility of a relationship. But I can’t do what they want. On so many levels, I cannot imagine having a relationship with people like my half-siblings,” he continued.
He’s left wondering if this makes him a jerk.
Listen, you don’t owe your forgiveness to anyone; it’s something that should be earned, and his half-siblings have done nothing to get in his good graces.
So, no, I think he’s right to keep these people out of his life, because nobody needs that kind of toxicity. It’s disappointing that his half-siblings can’t see by now that he’s blameless in the mess his dad made.
Anyway, he can tell his grandparents that he understands that they want peace in the family, and he loves them dearly, but he’s not budging.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
