I get why some people feel backed into a corner, with no choice but to slap an ultimatum on their partner because they’re tired of nothing ever changing.
So, if your partner had a pet they refused to care for and left you to deal with, would you feel like giving them an ultimatum is the only path forward?
This 27-year-old man lives with his 26-year-old girlfriend, who has a cat she acquired before they began dating. He didn’t picture having any pets as an adult, although he did have them when he was little.
At the moment, he’s working on his master’s degree and juggling a job on top of that, so he has not been interested in adding the responsibility of a pet to the mix.
But after he and his girlfriend grew more serious, it dawned on him that he would have to say yes to live with the cat. It’s not that he hates cats; he actually likes them, but he was afraid that he would be tasked with caring for his girlfriend’s cat, which he wanted no part of.
“My GF really wanted to start living together, so I told her only if she promised to continue being the main caretaker for the cat. I told her I’d cover the cost of food, supplies, and vet bills, but I won’t be scooping litter boxes or feeding and things like that,” he explained.
“She agreed, and we moved in together. Fast forward to now, my GF is not holding up her end of the deal. She’ll go lengths of time without scooping the litter box, and she’s constantly forgetting to feed the cat or just procrastinates it.”
“As a result, I end up scooping the litter box every couple of days and feeding him most of the time because I can’t stand the smell, and of course, I just feel bad for the cat. The cat is nice and obviously can’t take care of himself; he needs to eat and [stuff].”
He has spoken to his girlfriend about the cat more times than he can even count. He’s expressed to her that he’s upset and asked if there is anything he can do to help her make caring for the cat a priority.
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He’s even volunteered to take on additional household chores to give his girlfriend more time to prioritize her pet, but not even that works.
He’s done everything, and he’s at the end of his rope, because nothing makes his girlfriend want to pick up the slack. He’s so exhausted with being stuck in this cycle that he finally issued his girlfriend an ultimatum.
“So, I told my girlfriend she needs to rehome the cat and find someone [who] will actually take care of him, or I’m moving out,” he continued.
“Partially because I really don’t want to take care of a cat anymore, and also, I can’t stand to see her neglect him; it really bothers me. I realize ultimatums are not great, but I really don’t know what else to do.”
“Besides this, my girlfriend is amazing, and I’d like a future with her, and I can tell she does feel guilty about her shortcomings with this cat. She told several of our friends about the ultimatum, and it’s turned into a whole thing.”
His girlfriend is angry with him, saying he’s not fair, mean, and demanding.
He’s left wondering if it was wrong to give his girlfriend an ultimatum about the cat.
He was incredibly generous to tell his girlfriend he would pay for all of the cat’s expenses, and I can’t get over that! I am a firm believer that if you enter a relationship with a pet, you shouldn’t expect your partner to be their main caretaker.
He needs to adhere to his ultimatum, and it might be better for him to push his girlfriend to rehome the cat before he finds himself a new home. I’m worried that the cat will really be neglected if he moves out before helping him secure a soft landing.
It’s alarming to me that his girlfriend can’t be bothered to care for her cat. If he wants to have kids one day, I don’t see her being able to deal with that if she can’t take on the world’s easiest, most self-sufficient pet.
His girlfriend sounds awful for 1. forcing him to care for her cat, 2. doing nothing for her pet, and 3. having the audacity to call him names for taking a stand.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
