Welcome to the suburbs, where the grass is green, and the neighbors can be hasty to make assumptions about you and your family.
How would you feel if your spouse stood there like a deer in the headlights while your new neighbor incorrectly assumed they were married to your nanny?
This 28-year-old woman gave birth back in January, and this is her firstborn child with her 28-year-old husband. They have since hired a 36-year-old nanny to help them out with their baby.
They currently live in an upscale neighborhood in the suburbs, and recently, they got a new female neighbor who appears to be sweet.
Their new neighbor has been making an effort to get to know all the other residents, and on Saturday, she rang their doorbell.
“She did the reverse of the community, bringing things to the new neighbor. She was bringing things to her close neighbors, and this was our turn,” she explained.
“My husband answered the door, and our nanny was in the neighbor’s view. I don’t blame the neighbor one bit for her confusion. A white man with a wedding ring, and a Japanese woman with a wedding ring, who is holding a half-Japanese, half-white baby.”
“What else was the neighbor supposed to think? She introduced herself, and was talking about how my husband and our nanny look like such a cute couple. They have such an adorable baby. The nanny wasn’t saying anything. My husband said thank you.”
She approached the neighbor and stated that she was married to her husband, and the other woman standing there happened to be their nanny.
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The neighbor was humiliated and said sorry. She let her neighbor know she didn’t need an apology, as it was an honest mistake on her part.
Later on, she questioned her husband about why he didn’t set their neighbor straight and allowed her to think that his wife was actually their nanny.
“He said that it’s an unfair question and that he was obviously flustered. I told him it’s the easiest thing to just say, this is our nanny and my wife is in the kitchen,” she continued.
“He said I’m making too much of this. I said maybe he wants people to think he’s married to someone who looks like our nanny. He started saying that my body had bounced back and that I was looking good.”
“It reduced my annoyance for a few seconds, but then I told him he needs to give me a good explanation of why he couldn’t just say she’s the nanny. My husband said he can’t talk to me when I’m like this.”
She’s left wondering if she’s in the wrong or if her husband is.
I can see how her husband was put on the spot and didn’t quite know how to handle that situation. I once was out grocery shopping with my sister’s friend (who is very tiny and tomboyish), and my new neighbors excitedly approached me, gushing about my son, whom they didn’t know I had.
The two of us stood there awkwardly staring at one another, not sure how to tell them that, in fact, that was not my son. So we didn’t say anything, played along, and the truth only came out like a year after the fact because it was too weird to correct in the moment.
So, after being a firsthand witness to the assumptions people make and how strange it can be to do something about it while overcoming the shock, I don’t think her husband did anything nefarious.
I do, however, think that she is overreacting about her husband not knowing how to deal with the neighbor making an incorrect assumption.
It’s not fair to accuse him of having a crush on the nanny simply because he fumbled the opportunity to correct their new neighbor on a snap judgment she made.
What is your opinion on the situation?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
