His Wife Won’t Sleep In Their Bed And Ends Up In Her Kids’ Rooms Every Night, Even Though He’s Said It’s Hurtful

“She cannot, for the life of her, sleep in the same bed as me and instead chooses to fall asleep in the beds of her kids (my stepkids),” he explained.

They have spent the last seven months married and living with one another, and he has told his wife he’s unhappy with their sleeping arrangement multiple times.

His wife always placates him and says she will make the change he’s looking for, but she never puts in the effort. She sits in bed with him while they watch TV together, but as soon as he makes a move to go to sleep, she mentions checking on the kids, gets up, and never returns.

When his wife isn’t busy ditching him like that, she stays in their bed until he passes out. Then, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, she’s not there, and he only sees her in the mornings.

“I’ve told her sleeping in the same bed is the bare minimum of a marriage and that it hurts that she can’t seem to do it at all,” he continued.

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“She claims that it’s a big change since she’s used to sleeping next to her kids, which makes sense; things aren’t going to change overnight. If we’re arguing, she says she doesn’t want to sleep next to me while things aren’t good between us.”

“Which, honestly, is something that happens often, but I chalk that up to both of us getting used to the life changes that come with being newly married with kids, but this has been an ongoing thing for months with no change.”

Overall, their marriage isn’t all rainbows and unicorns right now because, aside from their sleeping arrangement, which he has no say in, they argue a lot about feeling distant from one another.

He’s brought up moving his wife’s clothes into her kids’ rooms since she never spends time in their bedroom, and that makes her act defensive. His wife’s kids are six and nine, so it’s not like they need their mom to fall asleep at night.

He’s not sure what to do and if this is fixable, but one thing is for certain: they cannot afford marriage counseling.

Ok, so the distance between them is only growing because they’re sleeping in separate rooms. And since they don’t have the cash to spend on counseling, they should use their free time to research online advice that won’t cost them anything and work towards implementing those strategies together.

Thanks to the internet, there is a wealth of advice floating around out there from qualified people or therapists, and it won’t cost a dime.

That could be a good bonding activity and the first step in fixing their marriage, because they have to start putting in the work to turn this around, or they’re doomed.

I do think from the outside looking in, his wife puts her wants above his, and is prioritizing her kids over him, and she needs to reach a balance or risk pushing him further away.

What advice do you have for him?

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