Falling for someone we can’t have is a tale as old as time, and sometimes, the heart just wants what it wants. Her heart has launched her into quite a sticky situation, and she’s wrestling with whether to keep her feelings buried forever or risk blowing up multiple relationships by saying something out loud.
This 28-year-old woman has fallen in love with her mom’s best friend, who is 31 years older than she is and has been in her mom’s life for quite a long time.
Her mom went to school with her best friend, and they both ended up moving to the United Kingdom. Her mom then met her dad, and they had her and her siblings.
Her mom’s best friend never did get married or go on to have kids, but he’s been a major part of all of their lives. And I’m sure you’re wondering if there’s any chance that her mom’s best friend could be her dad, but that’s not the case. They have all done Ancestry DNA tests and have not come across any unwanted surprises like that.
“Growing up, I always considered him my ‘favorite uncle,’ which was all pretty innocent. I was never surprised by this. He’s a great guy,” she explained.
“So right now, I’m 28, and he’s pushing 60, but over the last 3 years or so, I seem to have developed feelings for him. And this isn’t a little crush or something. These are insanely deep feelings of longing that I’ve never felt before.”
“My first instinct is, of course, it would be completely inappropriate to tell him how I felt about him, as there would be a crazy amount of fallout.”
Since he’s her mom’s best friend, she’s willing to bet that her mom will feel deceived or double-crossed if she reveals her feelings to her mom.
She’s aware there are repercussions she will have to face if she voices her innermost thoughts to anyone. She’s been trying to ignore how in love she is with her mom’s best friend, but the harder she tries to do that, the more powerful her feelings grow.
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Oh, and no, her mom’s best friend has never come onto her or done anything indecent. He’s acted like a part of her family, and so it is her fault for catching feelings for him; it’s not a result of something he has said or done or indicated.
“He messaged me the other day just to check in, which he does every now and again, and it just drives me insane not being able to mention anything to him,” she continued.
“I feel like there would be a huge amount of tension relieved if I was finally able to tell him and get it off my chest. Would doing that be worth the risk? Do I tell him or not?”
We can classify this as unrequited love, and it doesn’t seem that her mom’s best friend feels the same way about her. If I were her mom, I would be uneasy about them being together.
Risking the relationship with her mom is just not worth it, and a second problem is that a 31-year age gap is pretty hard to overcome.
I think she should get a therapist and tell her feelings to them, that way she will feel a bit of relief. If she caught feelings for her mom’s best friend out of absolutely nowhere, she could also be lacking something or trying to fill a void.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
