It’s reasonable to assume that if you break the cycles of your own difficult past and provide a stable, loving home, your kids will turn out fine.
You do everything right to shield them from the struggles you survived, thinking a safe environment is an absolute guarantee of a peaceful life. But the universe has a brutal way of reminding us that some battles have absolutely nothing to do with how good a parent you are.
This mom has had such a rotten week that she’s hoping she’s living in a nightmare and will wake up from it shortly. It was just last week when she was jolted awake by a stranger’s voice in her home.
She thought someone was robbing her family, and she rushed downstairs without any pants on to find police officers, EMTs, and firefighters flooding her house.
“They told me my 14-year-old daughter took medicine with the intention to end her own life. She was rushed to the hospital, transferred to a major medical center, and was in the ICU,” she explained.
Luckily, her teen is alright, but she wasn’t sure if she would survive the attempt or would suffer from brain damage, as she wouldn’t wake up.
She was traumatized by having to watch the medical professionals place IVs and do sternum rubs on her daughter while she remained unresponsive.
Her daughter is currently at an inpatient facility, which is located an hour and a half away from her house. She and her ex have to drive there after work to see her, which is exhausting.
“She’s now inpatient at a facility 1.5 hours away, so my ex and I have been making the drive on top of work. Last night, my 10-year-old did a copycat act, just to a lesser extent. She had been acting out, lashing out at me,” she explained.
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“Telling me all I care about is work, after begging me for a $1,000 a week camp, five weeks of it. Telling me I want her to starve to death because I said no to fast food one time. So now she is in the ER waiting for a bed to open.”
“My ex and I are on the cusp of losing our jobs because of the intensity of the situation and how much work we’ve missed. Both kids are making demands after demand; bring them outside foods and specific clothes, and then berating us if they’re ‘wrong.'”
So, both her teen and preteen daughters are currently on psychiatric holds. Her husband has been amazing through everything. He’s been caring for their toddler and bringing her daughters things, despite them treating him like trash.
She’s feeling like she would like to run away from home with her husband and her toddler and get a name change so she can disappear.
Her teen daughter is in the process of being diagnosed with a mental illness, which is most likely bipolar disorder or another personality disorder.
“The younger is almost certainly bipolar. They have been so…mean to [my husband in particular and me], especially as we’ve had to set boundaries on visits and buying things,” she continued.
“They are both trying to outdo the other. There is no history of abuse or trauma, a pretty standard, uncomplicated middle-class existence. I’ve worked hard and [broken] cycles of poverty and abuse, and I think it makes it that much worse.”
She’s in an impossible situation, and I applaud her for still trying to be the best mom she can be amid a major crisis. Mental illness is no joke, and you can still strive to be a perfect parent and have kids who end up with it.
I hope that once her girls get properly diagnosed, things will calm down and treatment will help. And she should really see a therapist to help her cope and also figure out how to set healthy boundaries with her girls when they’re making so many demands.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
