It’s so funny to me when people who have ruined your life turn around and expect you to do them any favors. If your mom took her own life over your dad’s affair, and then his mistress expected you to help with her high-risk pregnancy, what would you do?
This 18-year-old girl’s dad had an affair for two or three years. When her mom uncovered his infidelity, it made her fall apart. Her mom did struggle with major depressive disorder, but the affair made her spiral.
As soon as the divorce was made official, her mom took her own life. It was only after her mom passed away that she found out about the affair, and it broke her. Her mom died five years ago, and then she was forced to live with her dad and his mistress.
“They told me to either take a step back from my parents’ relationship and just accept them being together, because the rest is none of my business, or understand that my dad was with a mentally ill woman for 20-something years, and he deserved to chase happiness where he could,” she explained.
“But I wasn’t giving dad a pass when my mom had her lows, but her condition was well managed for a lot of years, and really only got bad again because he was having an affair for years, and it destroyed her.”
“He told me it still weighed heavily on him, wondering when she’d decline again or when something might set her off. So I didn’t like living with them, and I didn’t respect or accept her. It bothered my dad a lot, and he tried many times to talk me into giving her a chance, but I refused.”
Her dad’s mistress did experience two high-risk pregnancies, and she was expected to help her, but she refused. When her dad tried to leave her alone with his mistress, she would leave the house and make plans.
If her dad’s mistress asked her directly for help, she would simply ignore her. Her dad punished her, and yet she still would not help out.
She reminded her dad that his mistress wasn’t her family, and she didn’t consider any of her babies family either. She actually told her dad she no longer thought of him as her family.
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“A few times, he threatened to send me to live somewhere else, but refused when he saw how badly I wanted that. My stepmother complained nonstop about my lack of consideration for her and my unwillingness to put her health and the baby’s health before everything else,” she added.
“She was very annoyed when nothing made me feel guilty for not helping her. I moved in with my grandparents after my 18th birthday.”
“They’re dad’s parents, and we always had a good relationship, but that has changed in the last couple of months because my stepmother is pregnant again, and she’s high risk again, and she expects me to help her this time, and I have refused again.”
Surprisingly, her grandparents are trying to persuade her to change her mind. Her dad’s mistress has been badgering her, and that just sets off her grandparents.
It’s gotten so bad that she’s tried to find somewhere to live alone, but she may just have to be homeless for a bit of time, as that’s a better alternative than being forced into helping with the high-risk pregnancy.
She’s left wondering what to do.
Being homeless at her age would be a tragedy, so I think she should turn to her friends and other family members to find an alternative living arrangement. There has to be someone willing to help her out.
And I don’t blame her for turning her back on her dad and his mistress, because they are truly horrible people for what they did to her mom and to her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
