This woman and her roommate, Lisa, have been living in a cozy, inexpensive apartment together for three years.
Until recently, she and Lisa got along well. However, six months ago, Lisa’s boyfriend, Mike, began staying at their place six days a week.
He takes showers at their place and eats food from their fridge, so it’s as if he’s her unofficial second roommate. Initially, she wasn’t too bothered by how often Mike stayed at their apartment.
“I’m not heartless, and I get that his current living situation isn’t great (he’s between jobs and was kicked out of his last place for being unable to pay rent),” she said.
Over time, she’s become frustrated with how much time Mike spends at their place rent-free. She feels like she’s the third wheel in her own apartment when Lisa is her only official roommate.
After thinking it over, she explained to Lisa last week that she wanted Mike to start contributing to rent and utility bills if he would continue spending several days a week at their place.
She told Lisa that Mike could pay a fair amount, less than what they contributed since he wasn’t there all week.
Unfortunately, Lisa was upset by her request that Mike contribute to rent and utilities, arguing that she and Mike are saving up to move into a place of their own.
Lisa claimed she wasn’t being fair by asking Mike to chip in to continue staying at their place. According to Lisa, Mike didn’t use their utilities much, anyway, adding that she was blowing the situation out of proportion.
“The argument got pretty heated, and I ended up saying, ‘It’s either he pays up, or he needs to cut down on how much he’s here. I didn’t sign up to live with a couple,'” she explained.
In response, Lisa accused her of being self-centered and inconsiderate toward Mike’s tough situation.
While she and Lisa were fighting, Mike was at their apartment, which was uncomfortable. He overheard their disagreement and came to Lisa’s defense.
“He said I don’t have any right to suddenly impose new rules and that I’m just trying to make things difficult for them because I don’t like him (which isn’t true; I just don’t like the current living situation),” she shared.
Since the fight, she’s spent several days thinking about the ordeal, wondering whether she was wrong.
She felt conflicted because, on the one hand, she felt bad for suggesting Mike pay rent and utilities when he was financially unstable.
On the other hand, she was irritated that he was essentially living with her and Lisa rent-free. In her view, her feelings and the lease she and Lisa signed aren’t being honored or respected.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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