A baby is a big commitment, and these days, they also require a significant amount of money to raise. How would you feel if a teen in your household was asked to raise a child that you would have to step up to pay for?
This man has spent a bit more than ten years with his wife so far, and it hasn’t all been rainbows and roses in their blended family.
Back when they originally started dating, his wife’s ex-husband really went out of his way to cause problems for them for years on end.
Her ex is a deadbeat and an addict who tried to turn all of the kids against him before he lost custody completely. On New Year’s Eve one year, his wife’s ex assaulted them, which landed him in jail.
After he got out, it seemed he cleaned up his act. He even got married to a new woman, with whom he had a baby last year. Sadly, she passed away last summer from an overdose.
“So now he is a single dad with no job and failing health. He has liver failure and has been told by his doctor that he has approximately 6-8 weeks to live,” he explained.
“He has recently contacted his oldest daughter, who lives with me, and said he wants her to have the baby when he passes. This puts her in a tough position because her mother and I have spent the last decade raising her to be a strong, driven individual with big goals.”
His wife’s daughter is going to be celebrating her 18th birthday in a few short weeks, and she’s supposed to go to college in the fall, so she can’t raise a baby right now.
Despite that, his wife’s daughter is adamant about taking the baby and having him and his wife help care for the kid. He is vehemently opposed to this arrangement.
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While his wife isn’t on board, she’s terrified that if she says no, her daughter won’t want anything to do with her, which means she’s going to say yes.
At the risk of sounding selfish, he’s 43, and his youngest child is nearly 12, so he has no interest in having to provide for a literal baby since he’s almost done raising his kids.
“[Am I the jerk] for telling them that the baby isn’t welcome? Should I put my pride and life plans aside and raise this child?” he wondered.
“I am the main financial contributor in the house, so I will be committing my time, money, and life to this. I have plans to retire early and travel the world. This will change everything for me, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”
He and his wife need to sit down and tell this teen that she is in no place to raise a kid, and it’s not fair to any of them to take that on in their house.
She has no income, no home in her name, and she hasn’t even graduated from high school yet. None of that adds up to being a fit parent, I’m sorry.
It really would be dumped on him and his wife to pick up the slack. Perhaps looking into an open adoption so his wife’s daughter could still remain in contact with the baby would be a great place to start.
What advice do you have for him? Is it noble for his wife’s daughter to accept a baby if she isn’t the one who will be financially responsible for it?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
