People always have such unique perspectives to share online, such as TikToker Linda (@linda.renee3), who is talking about how she was raised by a mom who is developmentally delayed and how that has affected her.
Her mother appears to be an average adult woman, but her mind doesn’t work like one, and Linda says this is evident after just a few minutes of talking to her.
“My mother’s got the equivalent, in some areas of her life, of a 12-year-old, and in other areas of her life, she’s much younger,” Linda explained.
“She doesn’t process things like most people do, and she doesn’t comprehend things like most people do. You can give her information, but she just can’t seem to put the pieces together of life.”
Her mother has never been able to hold down a job, keep to a schedule, maintain a household, or do anything that requires repetition. She is also impulsive, and her actions are driven by her emotions.
Her mother had a total of five children, and Linda was the oldest of the bunch. She was born in 1968. Back then, there weren’t as many resources or services they could turn to for help, so Linda’s aunt always offered money to her mother and stepfather to let Linda stay with her.
Linda spent much of her life going back and forth to her aunt’s house and her mom’s house.
According to her aunt, Linda was responsible for taking care of her family from a young age. She would change her sister’s diaper while she was still wearing one herself, feed her siblings, get them ready for school in the mornings, and clean the house.
“I was the one who tried to take care of everything, including my mom,” said Linda. “And I remember protecting my mother when people teased her. I remember protecting my mother from my stepfather when he got upset.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Growing up, Linda was aware that her mom just didn’t “get” things like other adults. She had so much anger and resentment toward her mom for that, but as she got older, she started to feel more sympathy and pity than anything else.
She still wanted her mom to somehow make amends for everything that she didn’t do during childhood.
It took several years for Linda to recognize that her mom was incapable of stepping up. Eventually, she reached a place of acceptance and forgiveness for her mother and was able to move forward with her life.
She had to abandon the idea that her mom could change. Having kids of her own really helped Linda learn more and heal her relationship with her mom.
“I believe that’s why it shaped me so much with my own children, to really be present in their lives, because I didn’t have anybody present in mine,” Linda concluded.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
