Have you ever heard the metaphor, “The grass is greener where you water it?” It suggests that happiness and satisfaction are attainable through your own consistent hard work; it can’t be derived from switching jobs or partners or anything else of that matter.
Would you stop watering your marriage if a more exciting romantic interest walked into your life? Or would it make you look into what was missing with your spouse in lieu of jumping ship?
It was at a conference that this 28-year-old woman met the 49-year-old man she ultimately left her husband for. They initially connected over work, but it quite quickly blossomed into a romance.
She made a decision to leave her husband and be with this man because she thought he would provide her with a brighter future, a greater love, and a more adventurous relationship.
“Then this other man came along, exciting, loving. Had a better education, a better job, he was smart, and felt like I had found the one,” she explained.
“He helped me [with] cooking, helped around the house, treated me with all love because I deserved everything, as he said. He had these amazing plans for us, and at the time, it felt real. A house, a baby, a life together.”
Her new man egged her on to end her marriage, insisting she should have more than her husband could give. She didn’t think her husband was perfect.
She didn’t think he met her needs completely. She didn’t think he wanted to change in ways that would benefit her. She felt like he didn’t truly see her. But now she knows her husband never would have discarded her the way her new man did.
Anyway, after she left her husband, she quickly got a house with her new man and bought furniture and kitchen appliances. It seemed to her that they were creating an incredible life together, and she trusted him.
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They did maintain a long-distance relationship as her new man did live in a different country, but then he moved to be with her.
“But now… he’s gone. After 8 months. Suddenly, the future we built in my mind doesn’t exist. He tells me our age gap is too much, that he doesn’t see a future without losing himself,” she said.
“That he stopped doing the things he enjoyed because he wanted to talk to me, he says the relationship with his daughter is bad because he gave me too much attention.”
“I’m just shocked, but this is KARMA…I left a committed relationship for someone who ultimately isn’t willing to fight for us in the end. And now I’m here, heartbroken, trying to figure out how to live with my choice, my sadness, and the painful realisation.”
As they say, how you get them is how you lose them. I do think she should just be single for a while and take some time for herself.
She shouldn’t let a man define her dreams; she needs to focus on learning her lesson and allowing her mistakes to help her grow.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
