It takes a heck of a lot of heart to step in and raise someone else’s kids when their own mom decides she’s done. You’d expect the people closest to you to offer a hand, or at the very least, some sympathy, as you navigate your new normal.
Instead, some people look at a traumatized child and see nothing more than a punchline. And, there is no faster way to realize your inner circle is full of holes than watching a grown man mock a kid’s desperation while his wife tells you to just take it as a joke.
This woman has four children, and two are her biological ones (10-year-old Henry and 9-year-old Ashley), while two are technically her nieces (8-year-old Avery and 6-year-old Ellie).
One day, her sister showed up and dumped Avery and Ellie at her house, asking if she could watch them for a bit. But those days turned into months, and her sister eventually admitted she no longer wanted to care for them, so she assumed guardianship of the girls.
Recently, she took the kids over to her friend Macy’s house, with whom she’s been close since back in high school, and Macy’s husband Nick was there too.
Avery is exceptionally clingy, and she also has a lot of behavioral problems. While Avery does adore cuddling with her, Avery will also bite, scratch, hit, and kick her. She has marks all over her body from Avery because of her outbursts.
But when they’re not at home, Avery is pretty docile and sticks to her like glue. Anyway, while at Macy and Nick’s house, all the kids were playing in the pool, and there were eight kids present.
“Avery refused to get into the water or even put on a bathing suit. When I tried to put one on her, she started screaming, crying, hitting me, scratching me, and biting me,” she explained.
“So I just let her wear normal clothes. I gave her shorts and a T-shirt. I was wearing a bikini because I wanted to look cute. Avery didn’t speak the whole time.”
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“I sat down in one of the pool chairs, and the second I sat down, Avery climbed into the chair, put her head on my chest, and sat on my lap.”
She was leaning back, and Avery was entirely covering her. Avery wouldn’t play with the other kids, nor would she leave her side, so she let her be.
While she was chatting with Macy and Nick, Avery remained on her for 30 to 40 minutes. She was still having a wonderful time, and then they ordered Subway for lunch.
Nick got all of the kids their food, and Avery was hungry, so she walked up to him while holding onto her hand. In that moment, Nick decided to make comments about Avery to her face.
“Nick gave me my food, and when I told him to give Avery hers, he said, ‘I thought that was your pet.’ She started eating, and I was eating. She tried to sit on my lap, but I wouldn’t let her,” she said.
“Eventually, she climbed into my lap anyway. Then Nick made a joke about her being a parasite. He said, ‘How do you deal with that parasite all day, every day?’ He made two or three more jokes about her being a parasite, not counting the earlier comment.”
Avery was on the verge of melting down, complete with all of the sobbing, yelling, and hitting. So as soon as the kids were finished with their lunch, she packed them all up and went home to avoid Avery making a scene.
After returning home, the kids wanted to know why they were not allowed to stay at Macy and Nick’s house and play longer. She let all of the kids know that she was unhappy with Nick for calling Avery a parasite and making rude comments.
She turned to Avery and stated that she loves her and does not consider her to be a parasite. But instead of being reassuring, that set Avery off.
“She started to have a meltdown, screaming and kicking me. We got home, and she went to her room crying. I went to check on her, and she started screaming, crying, hitting me, kicking me, biting me, and scratching me,” she continued.
“After that, she started cuddling with me again. Later, Macy called and asked why I left early. I told her why, and she said it was just a joke and that I should have been okay with it because Avery was kind of acting like a parasite.”
She’s left wondering if she was wrong to take the kids home after what Nick said about Avery.
She made the right call in leaving after Nick made disparaging comments about Avery, but the larger problem here is Avery’s actual behavior.
Avery isn’t acting in a normal way, and it’s time for her to get to the bottom of why she’s acting out like this. She should book appointments with a doctor and a therapist ASAP.
Avery will also have a ripple effect and end up damaging her other children if she doesn’t get this addressed as soon as possible.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
