Most couples argue about money, chores, or in-laws. This man is arguing about something a little more complicated: whether or not to have a second baby with a woman who openly admits she wants one solely to get a different gender than the child she already has.
This man and his wife are trying to keep their heads above water, and not just from a financial perspective. His wife works as a teacher, which she can’t stand, and she’s constantly stressed out from dealing with school.
Every single day, his wife complains about how much she hates her students and their parents as well. His wife is unable to leave that all behind when she comes home from work at the end of the day, and so that wretchedness gets dragged into their personal lives and marriage.
His wife has no patience for their son and will snap at him that he’s acting like one of her students, which their son finds puzzling, as he doesn’t know those kids at all.
Their son will be entering kindergarten come fall, and now his wife is insisting on trying to have another baby, because she’s convinced she will have a girl this time around.
“She says she is sick of being a ‘boy mom’ and wants a daughter. I do not think we are ready to have a second baby. For one thing, we have had several conflicts with our parents about childcare,” he explained.
“Both have said they will help us, but her parents are flaky, and my parents are judgmental. For a second thing, we are not doing well financially at the moment.”
“Expenses have gone up, and that is stressful. For a third thing, my wife wants to have a girl, and I’m scared of how she will react if that doesn’t happen. My wife said I’m being selfish because I got a boy and now think we’re done.”
His wife argued that if their son were a girl, he would be the one wanting another child, but that’s just false. He doesn’t care what gender their kids are.
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Also, he does not see how this is a great time to try for another baby, since kids are super expensive, and they’re barely making ends meet as it is. They can’t afford another kid, to say nothing of how their home lives are full of stress.
Not to mention, his wife dislikes how messy and high-energy boys are, and she’s positive things will be different if they add a daughter to their family.
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for putting his foot down about baby number two, especially since he’s worried they will end up with two boys, and his wife will be doubly unhappy.
I don’t care what his wife ridiculously believes; you cannot guarantee the gender of your baby, so what happens if he caves, and they end up having another boy? Is she going to keep going, hoping for a girl, until they’re up to their eyeballs in kids and so broke it’s not even funny?
His wife is really unstable, and that’s what ultimately needs to be addressed here. She should be focusing on a career change and alleviating stress so she can show up and be a better mom to the one kid she already has, since she’s definitely taking her work frustrations out on him.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
