If someone gets caught up in an affair, but they’re under the impression that their partner is single, can you really blame them for being a homewrecker?
For the last 18 months, this 38-year-old woman has been dating a 42-year-old man named David. David lives 45 minutes away from her house, so they only see one another one or two times a week, given the distance between them.
She didn’t think this was a red flag because it’s a lot of driving for her or David to have to do, so it made sense to her that they couldn’t go on dates more frequently.
Now, she’s not the kind of girl who’s been dreaming of her wedding day since she was a kid; in fact, she’s the opposite. Her parents made such a mess of their marriage that it killed off her desire to get married.
And given how demanding her career is, she was appreciative of David understanding that she doesn’t have a lot of free time. She was thrilled that he was so agreeable and independent, and he didn’t feel like moving in with her.
They actually met back in August of 2024 at a conference. At the time, they were working in separate industries but used the same software.
The whole point of the conference was for users of the software to interact with one another, and so when she and David exchanged contact information, she thought it was strictly for work purposes.
Anyway, she felt like she and David were already friends by the time the conference was over, since he was exciting to talk to and full of charisma.
“A few weeks later, he asked if I wanted to meet up, and I’m not going to lie, I found him really attractive, so I agreed. We got together for lunch, and things turned from a colleague situation to a romantic one,” she explained.
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“Within the next month and a half, we had been regularly seeing each other. Our lives seemed to work really well together. He understood how demanding my job is and that I don’t have the ability to be available for more than texting and phone calls on a regular basis.”
“He was ok with that, and I took that as him making concessions for me and my career. Over the next 6 months, things were really smooth, and I felt like I was in the best relationship of my life. Around that April, he specifically really pushed me to call ourselves ‘official,’ which was a bit weird to me because I felt that we obviously were based on our communication and interaction with each other.”
She thought David was acting in a bizarre way, but David convinced her she was being too dramatic about his insistence upon making their relationship official.
But after David came over to her house more frequently in the evenings and started spending the weekends with her, she stopped being worried.
Her relationship was normal and perfect to her, so why should she find it weird that David was all over her about taking things in a more serious direction?
Three weeks ago, David’s wife reached out to her and wrecked her world. She had no idea that David was even married, as he had marketed himself as single and ready to mingle!
“She introduced herself very kindly, let me know that they have been married for over 15 years and have 2 kids together. I had so many questions because none of this made any sense to me,” she added.
“I responded to her with my questions, but after that first contact, she never got back to me or responded to me again. I did some background check digging into Dave, and while he does actually work for the company that he claimed, he actually lives in an entirely different state.”
“I really have no idea how he can even travel between the two states so frequently. The cost alone would be crazy unless he’s been lying about his job role and he’s actually a traveling consultant instead of a system admin. I really don’t know at this point. I’ve spent over a year of my life on this man who has lied to me the entire time. I feel so incredibly disgusted.”
Not only is she trying to wrap her head around David’s lies, but his wife has since gotten a hold of her mom to say horrific things about her.
David has actually met her mom and had dinner with her on numerous occasions, because, you know, she thought he was her boyfriend and not someone else’s man.
“I don’t even know where to go from here. At this point, I’m ready to just not trust anyone ever again. I am just feeling really lied to, like I’m an idiot for falling for all of this, and I just want to curl up and disappear for a while,” she concluded.
David is the worst of the worst for putting her through this and for lying about being married. He roped her into an affair, and she was clueless!
I think she should block David’s wife and David, but not before sending everyone a cease and desist letter. If David is aware that his wife is harassing her, he might intervene to prevent things from getting even uglier.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
