Most people look at a seven-figure salary as the ultimate sense of security, but for her, it’s shined a light on just how resentful her sister has become.
When you make that kind of money, do you owe it to your loved one to help them out, even if they can’t manage to get out of their own way?
This 27-year-old woman is a lawyer, and her 30-year-old husband works as a surgeon, so they’re living pretty large, considering they make seven figures after paying their annual taxes.
She and her husband enjoy donating a lot of money to their community through different charities, and they do occasionally help their loved ones out, too.
She has six nephews and nieces, while her husband has four, and they’re in the middle of creating savings accounts for all of the children.
“The plan is that when they each turn 18, the accounts will have enough for 4 years of undergrad and a graduate degree. All they have to do to get the money is to talk to us about what they are going to do with it,” she explained.
“They don’t have to go to university; however, they must have a plan before they receive access. My brother (31M), [whom] I will call Michael, and his wife (30F), [whom] I will call Claire, have two children.”
“They are both teachers, and where I live, teachers tend to make good salaries. Their children are respectful and lovely, and my husband and I love taking them on excursions when we have time away from work, as we are both child-free but adore kids.”
She has a 29-year-old sister, Kara, as well, and Kara is struggling in comparison to Michael. Kara has four kids and can’t find consistent work.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Kara’s 36-year-old husband is unemployed and broke as a joke. She has, in the past, generously paid Kara’s bills or rent, as she’s been scared of Kara’s kids being tossed into the street.
Kara’s kids can’t behave when out in public, so she and her husband don’t invite them to the kinds of events that Michael and Claire’s kids attend with them.
“On top of this, my husband and I both used to be Catholic, and even though we don’t practice anymore, we take Lent seriously as a time of giving and give approximately 2-3k to a charity each week because we are generally unable to donate our time,” she added.
Over the weekend, she and her husband went to her mom and dad’s house to have breakfast with them. She and her mom were talking about Lent and what they were doing for other people, as well as giving up.
Her mom was very supportive of her giving money to charities, and her dad actually gave her the names of a few charities she could consider donating to in the future, as he has a career working for a non-profit.
Kara and Michael were present with their families at breakfast, and Michael and Claire said they would love to volunteer at a couple of the charities they discussed. She and her husband offered to babysit their kids so they could make a concrete plan around that.
“Kara, however, asked why we didn’t just give the money to her instead to help her with her kids and bills. My husband said it was our money, and we wanted to give people in need opportunities and aid,” she continued.
“Kara rebutted that her family was in need and that she is pregnant again. I offered to help her get a job and help her husband get a job, and she refused. She said they needed the money, and that much would have helped them greatly.”
“She called my husband and [me] hypocrites for helping charities but not her, a person we actually know. My husband and I took Easter week off from work, and because I’m not busy, I’m just wondering if we should have given Kara the money. We could have afforded to do both. We just didn’t.”
She does feel wracked with guilt for living a luxury lifestyle while Kara is in poverty. Her husband has since said to her that they don’t owe Kara any financial assistance, as Kara and her husband are making the choice not to work at the moment.
I’m on her husband’s side for this one. It’s not her job to help Kara be comfortable. I can’t believe that Kara is pregnant again when she and her husband don’t have jobs. That’s insane!
If she kept on helping Kara and giving her money, that would be her subsidizing her irresponsibility. She’s already done everything within reason, so she needs to leave Kara alone and let her figure it out.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
