Moving on from a heartbreak is a personal victory, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean and leave room for a homewrecker to be invited back to Sunday brunch.
After a year spent building a new, happy life following being cheated on, she’s facing a subtle, persistent pressure to bury the hatchet with the woman who helped blow up her previous relationship.
Five years ago, this 31-year-old woman was in a long-term relationship with a man who cheated on her with the sister of her sister’s wife.
That ultimately led to their breakup, and this wasn’t something she took lightly, as she envisioned spending the rest of her life with her then-boyfriend.
“This is a man I was living with, planning to marry and have kids with. About a year ago, I started seeing someone new, and I’m really happy now,” she explained.
“For context: my sister’s wife’s sister (Jane) has always been really close with my sister and her wife. The three of them would come to my parents’ house for all family events.”
“Obviously, after the affair ordeal, she stopped coming around. Before everything happened, I was pretty close with Jane, too. The four of us (me, my sister, her wife, and Jane) went on girls’ vacations together, nights out, and spent a lot of time as a group in our 20s.”
Considering she’s moved on and found love again, her family members have been hinting at Jane being allowed to attend events in their family once more.
I guess they think it’s time for her to forgive and forget, but she’s upset that her loved ones feel that Jane should be invited to be around them after what she did.
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She doesn’t want to see Jane for the rest of her life. While her family members have respected this so far, she has a bad feeling they will keep gauging her feelings on Jane to see if she will cave and let her come to things in the future.
It irritates her that her family is acting as if she should get over what happened with Jane in enough time, because that simply will never happen.
“It already bothers me that my sister and her wife still spend time with Jane. I know I can’t control who they choose to see, but it still feels like a huge betrayal given everything that happened,” she continued.
“And now the idea that they expect me to be okay with being around her again at some point just takes it to another level. I guess I’m looking for advice on how to handle this situation.”
“Am I being unreasonable? How do I express to my family I don’t want them asking me again if she can come around?”
I think she needs to literally tell her family that she will not change her mind about Jane, so they need to quit asking her. How rude of her family to push her on this, even if it’s subtle at the moment.
It’s like her family is picking Jane over her, and that’s horrible. She could also tell her family that they’re free to invite Jane to anything they don’t want her to come to, as she can’t be in the same room as her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
