There is this romanticized idea of the selfless homemaker, but we don’t really talk about how your identity can be erased when you make your entire existence about your family.
How would you feel if you were a stay-at-home parent who made your kids and partner your focus, only to have your spouse leave you and blame your weight on their decision?
This woman admits that while she was married, all of her time, energy, and attention went to her children and husband. She was a stay-at-home mom; her life consisted of grocery shopping, cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, making runs to school, and ensuring all of her loved ones were cared for.
“Somewhere along the way, I stopped taking care of myself. I gained a lot of weight over the years…Looking back, it wasn’t exactly surprising,” she explained.
“I was constantly cooking big family meals, which was basically some fried fat, and spending most of my day moving from one household task to another. Ironically, I was always busy but rarely doing anything that felt like actual exercise.”
Her inner monologue was that once her kids grew up, she would turn some attention to herself and her health. But in the meantime, she was all in on being a mom first and foremost.
Well, her kids did get older, and as soon as that happened, her husband shockingly left her. Over her weight.
“He told me he was embarrassed to be seen with me. Apparently, he would sometimes tell people I was his aunt or even his mother instead of his wife,” she added.
“Writing that out still makes my blood boil. To make matters worse, he started seeing someone else and made sure I knew she takes care of herself and works out regularly. I’m not going to pretend that didn’t hurt.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“The silver lining is that I get to keep the house, so at least I’m not dealing with a housing crisis on top of everything else. Now that both kids are in school, I started working again. Honestly, one of the biggest changes has been simply being around other adults every day. I didn’t realize how isolated I’d become until I got back into an office environment.”
Her female coworker has turned into one of her biggest cheerleaders. One time, she decided to tell her coworker all of the horrible things that she’s experienced in the last few years, including her husband leaving her.
She thought her coworker would give her a generic pep talk about learning to be fine and live with the hurt, but nope. Instead, her coworker said it was time for her to put herself first and gave her the information for her personal trainer.
She didn’t end up reaching out to the personal trainer yet, but she’s been thinking about it. It’s not that she wants to get fit to win her husband back or anything, because they’re done for good.
But she’s been looking in the mirror and thinking about how much she does crave feeling good in her skin again. She wants to feel confident and full of energy.
“I want to recognize the person staring back at me. And yes, I won’t lie, and a small part of me thinks showing up a year from now looking healthier, stronger, and happier than ever would be a pretty satisfying ending to this whole mess,” she continued.
She’s left wondering if being the best, happiest version of herself will be the best revenge.
I have so much respect and admiration for stay-at-home moms like her, who have put everyone first and themselves last. It’s her time to literally shine, and I think working with that personal trainer is a great first step to making herself the priority now.
And it’s nice she has already lost some dead weight: her husband. What a beautiful beginning to her weight loss journey, and I’m excited for her that she gets to have a bright, new chapter in her life.
But in the end, she should do this for herself, not because she wants to make a man jealous and show him what he’s missing out on.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
