It’s unquestionably painful when your spouse hits the brakes on a plan you have in place that will change your future forever. So, how would you feel if out of nowhere, your spouse said they changed their mind about having a baby with you?
This 32-year-old woman and her 32-year-old husband have spent the last 14 years together, and they tied the knot 7 years ago. Her husband is the only relationship she has ever been in, meaning he’s her first and last love.
They spent three or four years trying to have a baby, but due to her PCOS, they weren’t able to. Next, they decided to turn to fertility treatments, which turned into quite a process.
She had to undergo multiple tests, get on medication, and see a bunch of doctors, and in October of last year, they did IVF. They only ended up with two embryos after all of that.
“Due to my health complications, we had to freeze and store embryos with [a] plan to transfer [them] in January 2026,” she explained.
But then she experienced another illness that was entirely unrelated, meaning they had to delay the embryo transfer. She then went back to her home country to seek treatment, as it was a faster process than getting it where she currently lives.
In February, she returned to her husband, and he confessed to something shocking: he thought a lot about their marriage and his life and decided he was no longer ready to have a baby with her.
“He feels our relationship is not supportive enough to face the challenge when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. This is news to me, as this was never communicated once before,” she said.
“Now we are going through therapy whilst my embryos are in a freezer waiting for a decision. NHS would only store them for free until September, and my husband can contact them anytime to dispose [of] them should he want to.”
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She and her husband are very private about their personal business, which is why they didn’t tell a single soul that they were doing IVF in the first place.
Their parents are nonstop asking them to have a child, and her husband doesn’t want any of them to know about their problems, so they haven’t mentioned that they’re in therapy either.
“I work at a high-pressure job, and the whole scenario is affecting my motivation, memory, and performance. I am considering taking a break and moving away…to process the grief I am feeling a) for a baby that is in a petri dish b) whole relationship,” she continued.
“I guess the question is, is my relationship repairable? If my husband thinks we are not supportive enough or strong enough to have a baby, is this relationship worth continuing? Would my further break mean this relationship would be in a unrepairable stage?”
I think she has to ask herself what’s more important here, her marriage to her husband, or having a baby. She said it herself that she’s not even positive their relationship will weather this storm, so she has to start thinking of her own future.
If being a mom is the most meaningful thing to her, she very well may just have to walk away from her husband instead of hanging in there.
He did change his mind, which is so unfair, considering what she had to put her body through to get those embryos, and children are not something you can compromise on. So, if her husband isn’t willing to have a baby ever, he might not be the man she should be with.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
