How would you feel if your parents forced you into caring for your disabled siblings growing up and still thought you would want to keep on doing that after they pass away?
This 19-year-old man has three siblings, and he’s the second child his mom had. When his mom was pregnant with his youngest sibling, his parents learned that they were carriers of a gene that resulted in all of his siblings being disabled.
His older sister was nearly five before his parents saw signs of the disability. His younger brother was two, and his baby sister was two months old when their symptoms presented.
He got himself tested a couple of months ago, and he is not a carrier of the gene, nor does he have the disability that impacts his siblings.
“Because I was the only healthy child, I got overlooked a lot. But more than that, my parents expected a lot out of me. I had to help keep the house running, had to help with [the] care of my siblings, had to make sure to stay on top of school and homework, and I had nobody to ask for help,” he explained.
“The duties piled on more and more as I got older. When mom realized she enjoyed my cooking, she had me take over making all three meals. Dad had me do yard work in his place because he hated it.”
“They got me to do most of the cleaning, so their focus could be on my siblings. Cleanup when accidents with my siblings happened was also on me. They sent me for all kinds of first aid training courses, so I’d know what to do if one of my siblings needed help.”
His childhood was grueling, given all of this, and making it even worse, his parents were cruel to him. They got angry and took it out on him. They never thanked him for everything he did.
They got into a blowout fight when he was 15 after he said they should be grateful for all of the food he made that they loved to eat.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
He pointed out to his parents that he did so much for them, and they never so much as said thank you. They snapped that he didn’t deserve thanks for helping their family.
“My mom even asked me if I’d cry like a baby to my teacher for praise. My parents gave zero thoughts to my future beyond helping them,” he continued.
“They never thought I’d move out and go to college or learn a trade or anything. And when I did move out as a fresh 18-year-old with nowhere to go initially, they expected me to come back. But I stayed in a shelter for a few weeks, and then a friend was able to help me out.”
“I haven’t gone back home since. My parents have asked for help, but I always deny them, and recently they told me I’ll be out of practice when I need these skills in a few years, because what about when they can’t do it anymore?”
He informed his parents that he will never help them care for his siblings again, so it’s on them to find a solution, because he’s not it.
He’s left wondering if he’s rude for no longer wanting to be the person his parents can rely on.
Good for him for standing up for himself, and his parents are horrible human beings for parentifying him. I’m honestly surprised he doesn’t cut contact with them completely, because they’re not adding to his life by being in it.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
