If you were married to someone who said they went alone to their ultrasound appointments for your baby, but then you found out they brought their best friend’s significant other along, would you be thinking that’s a red flag?
This 28-year-old man has spent the last decade with his 27-year-old wife, and they tied the knot two years ago. They planned on having a baby, and his wife is currently pregnant with their firstborn.
“I was excited at first to be a dad, but [I] quickly started to get a bad feeling. She had two early ultrasounds that I could not attend because of work, which was discussed ahead of time, and she told me she would rather I get paid and then take a day off (paid) for the anatomy scan,” he explained.
“A couple of days after the first scan, she took my phone to work with her and left me with hers. At first, I didn’t realize, and I saw she had texted her guy friend, who is technically only supposed to be a friend because he’s dating her bestie, and shared the scan picture with him before she texted it to me.”
“I also saw they had texted a lot, but didn’t read them all. I tried to shake it off and left the phone alone after that. I was doing [well] at convincing myself there was nothing to worry about.”
However, his wife accidentally left her phone at their house on a second day. It rang nonstop, so he finally picked up. There was a man on the other end of the line who hung up as soon as he realized he was not his wife.
He didn’t recognize the name of the guy, but a couple of minutes later, this man sent his wife a text. He looked at it and pieced together that this was the same man his wife sent the ultrasound photo to.
His wife had clearly changed the name this man was under in her phone and had texted him since doing so. He then found out that although his wife had said she attended both of the ultrasound scans alone, this man had gone with her!
None of the messages alluded to an affair, nor were they super flirtatious in nature, but there were numerous texts, and the most recent ones were bizarre.
The latest message was this man melting down over him answering his wife’s phone, and he could also see in the history when his wife freaked out the first day she had forgotten her phone.
After his wife returned, he questioned her about this man and their exchanges, and she got angry at him for looking through her phone.
She wouldn’t answer any of his questions because he had snooped. The following morning, he woke up and announced to his wife that he wanted to get a paternity test done on their unborn baby.
“I expected her to be mad, which she was, and she told me if I didn’t trust her, I could leave. I told her I wanted the test regardless, and she said no,” he added.
“Then a few days later, she said fine, but accept our marriage is over. I told her okay. But the test was being done. Then she asked me if I had calmed down yet, and [if I was] ready to get over this. I told her I still wanted to do the test.”
“She asked me why, and she told me she was sorry for lying and sorry for changing the guy’s name, but she didn’t want me to be uncomfortable with another man taking her. I asked why change his name, though. I said it made no sense unless she was hiding something. She claimed she wasn’t thinking straight.”
He then arranged to meet with his wife and this other guy to have a sit-down discussion about the secrecy. Well, his wife did bring a guy, but it was not her best friend’s boyfriend, and the guy she brought was super awkward before leaving after a couple of minutes.
His wife mentioned that she was hopeful she had given him enough to move on, and he reiterated to her that he wanted a paternity test.
His wife insisted she would never cheat on him and was appalled that he would say this baby wasn’t potentially his when they had planned to have this child.
He responded that he had to be 100% certain, since everything was getting fishy. His wife has been begging him not to get the test and to please trust her word.
“I still want the test. The baby could be mine. I’m not denying that fact. But I still think something is weird about this whole thing,” he continued.
“She’s really trying to make this marriage work, but I don’t know what to do if the test shows the baby is mine because I can’t say she’s cheated, but this has rattled us.”
“Her reluctance to do the test as well is playing on my mind. The very last time we talked, she said we would do it. But I’m not sure what the future holds. I know this is a very big thing, and asking is marriage ending either way.”
Well, he needed to lawyer up like yesterday so he can have guidance throughout this mess while filing for divorce because he’s right, his marriage is done.
He also needs to know if that baby is his or not, and before they are born, so he’s not obligated to pay child support in the event they’re not his.
It does absolutely not add up that his wife lied about going alone to their ultrasound appointments, yet took another man with her. She is unquestionably cheating, even if he didn’t find outright evidence of that.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
