If your spouse suddenly replaced you with a much younger person of the opposite gender and claimed that’s now their best friend instead of you, how would you feel?
This 28-year-old woman has been married to her 27-year-old husband for three years. Back when they tied the knot, her husband had a job in accounting.
But then he made the decision to join the Army because he wanted to be an officer, so he had to go back to college. She was extremely anxious about such an enormous switch-up, but she did support her husband.
While her husband was in school, he got very close with some of his classmates, who were only 18 to 21, so much younger than him.
She personally has nothing in common with his classmates, since they’re not married and in different stages of their lives. As time wore on, her husband increasingly spent time with his younger classmates, and it made her feel like she was being forced out of her husband’s life.
She’s come to realize she resents her husband and the Army for everything. Her husband is on the cusp of graduating, adding to the tension.
“I’ve financially supported us during this time and built my own career, but my job isn’t remote, so I’ll have to quit and move wherever he’s stationed,” she explained.
“On top of that, I recently found out I’m pregnant. So I’m facing moving, losing my job, and becoming a parent all at once — while my marriage feels like it’s falling apart. About 6 months ago, he told me he no longer considers me his best friend.”
“He says his best friend is now a 21F classmate. He texts and calls her constantly. He puts effort into that relationship but not into ours. He barely reaches out to me, and when we’re together, he’s distant.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Her husband has additionally confessed to her that he’s only staying with her because of their baby. As for her husband’s best friend, her husband calls and texts her nonstop. He even lies about when he spends time with her.
She can’t help but feel like her husband’s new best friend has replaced her, and there are more things that are upsetting her about their relationship.
For instance, her husband claims there is nothing more than a friendship going on between them, yet they are in constant contact, which isn’t normal.
Recently, she left to visit her family, and he instantly signed up to compete in a marathon three hours away with his best friend a day later.
Her husband had said he wouldn’t participate in the marathon with his best friend, but she can tell by his activity tracker he lied about that, and she’s convinced they drove to the event together.
She suggested coming to the marathon to show her support, but her husband replied that he didn’t want her to be there. Another thing that’s bothering her is that her husband made the background of his chat with his best friend a photo of the two of them, which he hasn’t done for anyone, including her.
“I’ve apologized for my earlier resentment and told him I want to work on things and rebuild our relationship, but he doesn’t seem interested in putting in effort,” she continued.
“He just tells me to ‘trust him,’ but I’m struggling with that, given how much time and emotional energy he’s investing in this other woman.”
“I feel replaced, disrespected, and honestly kind of gaslit. At the same time, I know I haven’t been perfect and did struggle with resentment during all these changes. Am I overreacting here? Is this something I should try harder to fix, or are my concerns valid?”
Ooh, her husband is sending her a message loud and clear, and it’s that he’s picking this much younger girl over her. How hurtful, he admitted he’s only with her for their unborn baby, too.
I think she should file for divorce, because nobody needs to play second best to their spouse’s best friend. Also, I’m pretty positive her husband is already cheating on her with this chick.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
