Adding someone else into your marriage is bound to create a messy situation, isn’t it? How would you feel if you invited another person to join your marriage, but your spouse didn’t want to stop the relationship with them after you did?
This woman has been with her husband for close to a decade, and they got married a couple of years ago. Their marriage has been on the rocks lately, and a lot of that has to do with the woman she invited to join them.
She and her husband agreed that this could be a fun arrangement, but things got complicated quickly. Looking back, she realizes she should have known better, because situations like this never end well. But it’s too late for her to go back in time and change what she did.
“I’ll own that I didn’t handle that situation well and have apologized for my part in how things unfolded. But over time, it became clear to me that I’m not okay with that kind of dynamic at all, and things ended,” she explained.
Anyway, this other woman cut contact with her, but has continued to have a relationship with her husband! She’s upset that he’s not picking her, his wife, when he should be.
She finally told her husband that if they want to work on their marriage, this girl has to go, and he cannot have any kind of contact with her.
“He initially agreed, but then changed his mind. He says it’s ‘against his morals’ to cut someone off who hasn’t done anything wrong to him, and he sees my request as controlling and an unfair ultimatum,” she added.
“I’m not trying to control him—I’m saying what I need in order to stay and work on the relationship. I don’t feel like I can move forward while he’s still connected to someone he’s been emotionally and physically involved with.”
She and her husband have since been fighting over his refusal to stop speaking to the other woman. She’s left wondering if she’s somehow a jerk for demanding that her husband has to do what she wants in order to save their marriage.
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I don’t think there’s anything left to save here, I’m afraid. Her husband is obviously not choosing her and doing what makes her comfortable, and that’s telling.
She did issue him an ultimatum, and he’s not listening in the least. He’s painting a very clear picture that she’s no longer the woman he wants to be with, so it’s time for her to ask him for a divorce and be done.
What advice do you have for her? Do you think their marriage is over?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
