Sometimes, a marriage unravels with the loss of a child, but I don’t think anyone expects such a tragedy to drive their spouse into the arms of someone else.
This woman and her husband have really had a tough go of things over the last four years. She gave birth to their son four years ago, and while he was a handsome little guy, he was a handful.
Her marriage suffered after welcoming their son into their family. She didn’t realize her husband was desperately trying to connect with her as they balanced being parents, and then he threw in the towel and stopped his bids for connection with her.
“Then my son died of pneumonia. It was so sudden. My husband was standing there, stone cold, while I was struggling to breathe. He never comforted me or gave me a hug. Never cried in front of me. When I hugged him, he didn’t hug me back,” she explained.
“For months, I was just existing. Then I found out that he started an affair. I read everything. He mostly talked about our son. He cried in her arms, he slept with her… [it] all started two weeks after my son passed away.”
“I confronted him, and he told me everything I asked. In a way, I am relieved. I was starting to think he never cared for our son because he never cried or showed me sadness. He cried, alright, but not with me.”
She’s struggling to come out of this mess while wondering where this leaves her and her husband. She and her husband haven’t spoken since she called him out for cheating on her.
She isn’t going to lie about the distance between them, which has only been growing lately. She does accept accountability for the role she played in drifting apart from her husband.
She knows she was unable to give her husband what he was looking for, especially since their son required a ton of her time, energy, and attention.
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“He doesn’t blame me for his cheating. He also tells me that he has no expectations from me and he will never have in the future. We have two other kids, too, so it’s not like we can’t just walk away and never look back,” she continued.
“I also don’t have the courage to ask him to cut contact with the homewrecker (she knows he is married, so don’t come after me for hating her) because he can talk to her when he can’t do [that] with me.”
It sounds like their marriage has been over for a while, not that that revelation should make her feel any better or bring her any comfort.
Staying together for the kids is always a terrible plan, and I think she would do best with a divorce.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
