If your spouse cheated on you with a coworker, would you end up wanting their permission to have an open marriage or get a trial separation years later?
This 48-year-old man cheated on his 44-year-old wife 13 years ago with an old coworker. He went to his wife and confessed what he had done, breaking her heart.
His wife didn’t choose to leave him, and in the years since, they have become more successful in their careers, purchased a home, and had two kids.
“Since my unfortunate cheating incident, I have worked…to try and make amends for what I did. I thought I had finally proved myself,” he explained.
Lately, his wife has been pretty aloof and has been speaking to him less. She isn’t doing as much around the house or with their children. She also admitted that she’s been flirting with one of her coworkers via text.
His wife is putting more attention into her own appearance and actively guards her phone from him now. She enjoys reading racy romance books and has expressed her desire to feel valued and young again.
Three weeks ago, he finally pushed his wife to open up to him about what was going on, and what she said really threw him for a loop.
“She mentioned a trial separation. I was caught off guard, and it stung. But we decided to tough it out for the kids and try to ‘see’ each other more,” he added.
“Then yesterday she mentioned how [sleeping] with me was too awkward and asked if we could ‘open’ our marriage, and that she wants to take a little trip to the coast to be free for a while. Said coast is a 3-hour flight away.”
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“I can’t help but feel that I ‘owe’ her one for what I did, and I know I deserve to feel like [garbage] about it even 13 years later. I told her she could go do whatever she needed to do, and that I would be here when she [got] back. I’m…just trying to let her even the score, I guess.”
His wife has reassured him that she’s not seeking a second relationship and plans to grow old by his side. So he’s left wondering why she asked for a trial separation or an open marriage.
He’s curious if this is the end of them, or if there’s the potential for his wife to have some fun so they can get their marriage back on track.
He’s worried that the odds don’t favor him and his wife working out, but he desperately wants to make this work for his kids, and he also still loves his wife.
“I guess karma may have finally caught [me]. I personally don’t want to throw in the towel, but am I just fooling myself??” he wondered.
I am sorry to say his marriage sounds finished to me, and he’s the one who lit that match 13 years ago and burned it all to the ground.
I don’t think his wife feels the same way about him following his infidelity, even if it did take a long time to become evident. Also, his wife clearly has not forgiven him for his actions.
An open marriage won’t save this, and evening the score won’t make her feel better. It’s time for him to just ask for a divorce already.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
