Comparing someone you love to another person and asking them to be more like whoever that is can rarely end well. So how would you feel if your spouse asked you to try to act more like their best friend’s spouse?
This woman got married to her husband four years ago, and she says they definitely have their highs and lows, as any normal couple does.
Despite their marriage not always being picture-perfect, she thought that they both had a lot of respect for one another. Also, she’s worked her heart out supporting him, caring for their home, and doing anything in her power to make their relationship a happy one.
“I never thought having dinner with friends would hurt me so much. One evening, we went to visit one of his close friends and his wife,” she explained.
“Everything seemed normal. We ate together, laughed, and talked about life. His friend’s wife was very outgoing and loved being the center of attention. Everyone seemed to enjoy her company, including my husband.”
On the ride back home that evening, her husband began speaking about his best friend’s wife. She figured he was just being kind as he complimented that woman, but then he asked her why she couldn’t be more like her!
He pointed out that his best friend’s wife dresses better than her, can keep a conversation flowing, and is constantly bright and cheery.
He really broke her heart by comparing her like that, and she couldn’t believe that he would dare to do such a thing. At first, she tried to brush it off, but her husband doubled down on the comparisons.
“He talked about how organized she was and how lucky his friend was to have a wife like her. Every word felt like a punch to my chest. Instead of appreciating who I was, it felt like he was listing all the ways I was not good enough,” she added.
“When we got home, I could not hold my tears back anymore. I started crying and asked him why he would say something so hurtful. He told me I was being too sensitive and that he was only giving me advice. That made me feel even worse.”
She picked up her car keys, walked out of the house, and drove to stay at her sister’s house so she could try to calm herself down. The following day, her husband called her and stated he didn’t intend to hurt her feelings.
He then expressed that he didn’t think she would leave him over making a comment. But for her, it was so much more than commenting on his best friend’s wife.
“It was hearing the person I loved compare me to someone else and make me feel like I was not enough. Some people think I overreacted by crying and leaving, while others say anyone would be hurt in that situation,” she continued.
“All I know is that words can stay with a person for a long time, especially when they come from someone you love.”
Make no mistake, her husband was criticizing her, not making comments, and that’s what makes this so offensive. She should list off all of the amazing things about her husband’s best friend and ask him to be more like that guy, and see how he feels.
Her husband is an insensitive jerk, and I really wonder if he wants to be in their marriage. If you’re happily married to someone, you don’t dare to tear them down and say they should be more like another person.
Do you think she was overreacting?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
