If you found out well after your wedding that your spouse had cheated on you with your friend three months before saying, “I do,” would you be able to forgive them for it?
This 24-year-old man got married to his 26-year-old wife two years ago. Last month, he unfortunately experienced the worst day of his life so far.
One Friday morning, he woke up to a phone call notifying him that his best friend at work had sadly passed away. Later that evening, he went out with his wife and his ex-friend for drinks in honor of his late best friend.
“Well, when the three of us went back to my house, my ex-friend, whom I have known since second grade, may I add, informed me they had ‘done things’ because he couldn’t hide it anymore,” he explained.
“It was three months before we got married, so we were engaged at the time of said incident. Now I do believe it was only once, but alcohol was heavily involved that night. We were having a Fourth of July party at my house and obviously drinking.”
“I had [drunk] so much that I fell asleep on the couch. At one point, after I fell asleep, they left and went to his house down the street.”
He found out the next day that his wife and his ex-friend had gone to his ex-friend’s house alone, but he didn’t think it was a problem, as he trusted the two of them.
He thinks that if alcohol had not been a factor, his ex-friend and his wife would never have slept together. They allegedly never hooked up again after that night, by the way.
But there were a number of times he hung out with his wife and his ex-friend after that incident, and they were drinking, so he wonders if there was more than one occasion where they hooked up.
“They blatantly flirted in front of my face, but I took it as just being friendly. I obviously love her still very much and can’t imagine life without her,” he added.
“We took a week off, separated, both went to our parents’ house, then met up to talk about it. She apologized and begged me not to leave. She has been treating me better than ever this past month. We both swore off drinking for good as well.”
“It still bothers me that she betrayed me so badly. She never could handle her alcohol very well at all. Not trying to excuse it, but it is true that she is a very different person when she drinks. I’m also the type of person who’s scared to be alone, as I went through two years of depression when I was [younger]. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life and am scared to lose her too.”
Oh, and after he found out about the infidelity, his wife insisted that she loses her mind when she drinks and doesn’t know why she does the things that she does as an excuse for her behavior.
He’s left wondering what to do.
Yeah, no, drinking doesn’t absolve you of your sins, and that’s the worst reason for cheating that I have ever heard in my life. Also, it really bothers me that his ex-friend and his wife have a history of flirting with one another right in front of him.
I’m positive his wife and his ex-friend have slept together more than once if that’s how they act, and have not tried to hide their feelings.
He really should file for divorce and learn to be comfortable alone, because that’s way better than staying married to someone who has no respect or love for you.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
