If your spouse asked you for an open marriage in order to save your marriage, would you be willing to go along with that plan, or would you be ready for a divorce?
This 40-year-old man and his 38-year-old wife recently got into an argument again over something they fight about nonstop. His wife says she’s unhappy since he’s not meeting her emotional needs.
He has expressed to his wife that he requires touch to feel validated, appreciated, and wanted. His wife always argues back that she would be more affectionate with him if he met her emotional needs, and now they’re just stuck in a vicious cycle.
He does want to be honest that he suffered from a lot of childhood trauma and is currently in therapy for this reason. His mom raised eight kids and said she didn’t do anything bad to them, even though she abused them all, and he got the worst of it.
He and his wife have three children, and he is a very involved dad. Therapy is helping him navigate all of their emotions and attitudes so he can not be like his mom was with him.
Anyway, over the weekend, he was trying to have a discussion with his wife about their feelings, but it went sideways and wasn’t as productive as he was hoping it would be.
“I was listening to her and how she feels so unheard and lonely, and that she understands I’m with the kids all the time, working, and cleaning the house and cooking, but that I’m never able to give her 5 [minutes] of attention or anything to make her feel loved and heard,” he explained.
“I told her I hear what you are saying and understand that, and I will do better on giving her some undivided attention. We then got on my topic about receiving appreciation and affection from her, like intimacy, not just [sleeping together].”
He was expecting his wife to say that she heard what he was saying, but nope, she said she likes their physical connection, but she wants a man to fulfill her emotionally, so they don’t destroy their family or have to get a separation or a divorce.
He questioned his wife if she was asking for an open marriage, and she said yes, that’s what she needs in order to keep their family together.
His wife wants him to be on board with her having an emotional affair while still maintaining their physical connection and loving her, which blows his mind.
“I told her I needed some space and silence from her, as I could not believe that was a suggestion or option. Just needing some advice if anyone else has experienced this, and should I be concerned that there is already somebody else?”
Yikes, I’m afraid there definitely is another man in the picture for his wife, and it’s ludicrous to think an open marriage will save a marriage.
There is no chance on earth that an open marriage will fix things between him and his wife, so I think a divorce is the only option he should consider here.
Can we also just touch on how he’s working, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids, and his wife has the audacity to complain about him not giving her his undivided attention? Why has it not occurred to her to pitch in more so that he has the time to devote to her?
What do you think? Does his wife have another man in mind already, or do you think she’s cheating on him, now looking for permission?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
