If you learned around your one-year anniversary that your spouse had cheated on you right before your wedding, would you be able to forgive them?
This 25-year-old woman married her 27-year-old husband 10 months ago. They actually got married quite fast, as it was only two months after he got down on one knee.
Her husband has forever been the perfect man. He’s super sweet, attentive, and shows her how much he loves her. He goes out of his way to make her happy and comfortable, and he’s made her feel like the only girl he has eyes for.
So you can imagine how blindsided she was upon discovering texts between her husband and another woman.
“I found out that he was messaging a former friend with benefits of his a month before he proposed to me. The messages were VERY [inappropriate] between them both (brought up previous encounters, images involved, etc., etc.), and there was no mention of having a girlfriend or anything of the sort,” she explained.
Her husband messaged this girl two more times following those initial texts. One time was literally a month before their wedding, and the second time was a month later.
None of those messages happened to be inappropriate, but this girl contacted her husband requesting a meet-up (not to sleep together), and her husband replied that he had moved and wasn’t in their town anymore.
Her husband had by then relocated to the city where she attended grad school, multiple states away from where he previously lived.
“Needless to say, I’m really in shock. [As] I said before, he really has always been the best partner, and so I never saw something like this coming,” she added.
“When I confronted him about it, he was extremely remorseful and seemed really ashamed. I don’t think he had much of an explanation beyond ‘I’m so stupid I really don’t know what was going through my head,’ followed by a bunch of tears and how much he loves me and how I’m everything to him, etc., etc.”
“Since everything has happened, he has gone above and beyond to try to regain my trust and also rebuild that spark and comfort between us. He has said multiple times that he’ll do whatever he has to and that he’s so grateful I didn’t leave him, and regardless of how long it takes to rebuild that trust, he’s willing to put the work in.”
She can tell that her husband is trying his hardest and that he does genuinely love her. She also loves him, but it’s difficult not to think about his behavior on a daily basis.
She thinks about him cheating when they’re lying in bed together. She can’t stop rereading the messages in her mind. She’s left feeling insecure, stressed out, and worried that her husband isn’t telling her the whole truth.
She’s curious if she’s being too dramatic or not patient enough. This all came out a month ago.
Timing is everything here, and her husband was having inappropriate conversations right when he was getting ready to give her a ring.
By all means, that’s the peak of a romance, and since her husband couldn’t stay faithful to her then, what’s stopping him from slipping back to cheating on her when they encounter real-world hardships?
Oh, and I don’t buy that her husband loves her at all, because if that was true, it never, ever would have occurred to him to cheat on her in the first place.
I also find their relationship timeline worrisome, and they rushed right into a marriage. I think her husband is fake as can be, and it would do her good to exit this marriage.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
