Envy is a heavy, isolating emotion to carry around with you, but I think it becomes even more painful when the person you are jealous of is your own sister.
This 28-year-old woman’s 34-year-old sister has the life that she’s been dying to obtain. Her sister has a job that allows her to stay at home while making crazy money.
Her sister owns her own house, she’s married, and her husband is a brilliant man. Her sister’s marriage is the healthiest relationship she’s pretty much ever seen, because they didn’t have good examples as kids.
As for her, she decided to have two kids, and all of her money goes to them. She earns $100 each week at her part-time job, but she won’t get more hours because they don’t have any available.
She is definitely going through a tough time, and while she adores her kids, they sap all of her energy. She constantly feels depleted and drained.
Her boyfriend is an amazing dad who works really hard, and honestly, she could not have found a better person for her. However, her boyfriend will not get engaged to her until after their kids are all grown up, as they need to have the same medical insurance.
“And he makes all the money, but it goes straight towards bills, and I pull my weight, don’t get me wrong, because I still have savings from my last job,” she explained.
“But if I’d known I had to wait 18 years not to get the wedding of my dreams, I wouldn’t have fallen for him. I [couldn’t care less] if we have medical insurance. I wanted him to fully commit to me because I needed that validation.”
“Clearly, I know my priorities are a little messed up, but I’m not sure how to fix those little things that make my heart hurt inside. Lowkey think I’m a loser, and that became evident looking in at my sister’s life.”
Recently, she saved $2,000 up so she could go see her sister for a weekend. The trip went great, until her sister gave her a whole tour of her house.
Her sister has a movie room with a TV larger than she is (and she’s 6’1″), fancy cars, a beautiful living room, a kitchen that easily cost her $15,000 to $20,000 to put in, and the coolest belongings ever.
As they walked through the house, she kept obsessing over how, if she had those gorgeous things, her sons would just smash them all.
“I felt incredibly insecure, and I’m aware that I shouldn’t feel this way and all, but it just took over me. I want my sister’s life. It seems quiet and quaint, and most importantly, quiet,” she continued.
“IDK why I’m saying all this, but I’m kinda [mad] at myself. I wasted my 20s, focused too hard on friendships and relationships, and have absolutely nothing to show for it.”
“When I get back home, I’m going to find a better job for one and focus a little less on being a mom and get my [stuff] together because I want what my sister has and I don’t care how that sounds. Kinda want a redo at life.”
It is incredibly easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty for wanting more, especially when society tells moms they should be completely fulfilled by a loving partner and children.
I believe the envy is a good motivator here to help her finally achieve the life she wants, after getting sidetracked in her younger years.
But she is still young enough to turn things around, and the first step is definitely getting a better job, hopefully with health insurance, as that could make her boyfriend feel stable enough to finally propose to her if that’s the one thing really holding him back.
At the end of the day, it’s never too late to make a change and try to get what you want in life, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
