If you figured out that your mom and dad have been having an affair for a decade, and that your dad actually fathered your sister when all along you thought it was some random guy, how would you feel?
Back when this 19-year-old girl was 5, her 47-year-old dad cheated on her 46-year-old mom with his current wife. Her parents got divorced because of it, and her dad quickly married his affair partner.
It was a disaster, and she learned weeks after they announced the divorce that her dad was unfaithful. She was angry at her dad and his affair partner for ruining her family.
Her dad originally received 50/50 custody of her, but she gave his affair partner such a difficult time that he let her go to her mom’s more often.
“I found out during a later visit that it was mostly because the other woman was pregnant and he didn’t want me to cause trouble with another kid on the way,” she explained.
“I never liked my dad because of his choices, and I never liked his wife either. But I have always loved and admired my mom. I had thought she moved on.”
“She had my sister 8 years ago, and I thought my sister was my half-sister and that her dad was some guy Mom hooked up with. But it came to light a few weeks ago that my parents have been having an affair on and off for the last decade. My dad’s wife found out first. Then mom and dad admitted my sister was his.”
She still lives at home with her mom and her sister, so she felt blindsided to hear that her sister is actually her full sister. Apparently, her parents got together when she was at her dad’s house, and on some evenings when her mom said she was out on dates with other men.
Her dad’s wife reached out to her, thinking she would understand how hurt she is, but she doesn’t have any sympathy for this woman, because that’s exactly how she got her dad in the first place.
She told her dad’s wife off and then blocked her. Thankfully, that’s been the end of her. Her dad is currently still living in that house he shares with his wife, but he’s been coming to her mom’s house more. Oh, and her sister finally knows who fathered her.
“It’s so messy, and I still don’t like my dad. But I always admired my mom, and I just can’t understand her going for HIM again. Like, of all the people, she starts back up with the man who cheated on her and destroyed our family,” she added.
“She admitted a part of her took the chance because she hated his wife and because of things she said to her during the divorce and for the first couple of years after it. She wanted to be petty and ruin her life, too.”
“But she also said [she] and dad have been in each other’s lives for so long, and even when she hated him, she kinda loved him too. I can’t really understand. But I still love my mom even if I feel she has questionable judgment.”
She just wishes her mom and dad had dealt with this in a better way, because it would have benefited her and her sister. She’s not sure how to handle her relationships with her parents, because this has directly involved her.
She does feel bad that her sister only just learned that they share the same dad, who is a terrible person, and she wishes her mom had given them a better dad than the one they have.
Well, how you get them is how you lose them, right? It’s sad to me that she’s more mature than her own parents. It sounds like her mom turned her dad into a competition, but it’s not like he’s a prize to win.
It might be a good idea for her to talk to a therapist and sort through all of this. It has to be disappointing for her to realize that her mom has flaws and is only human.
So many kids often look at their parents as these perfect people, and it’s shattering to find out your beloved mom belongs in an episode of The Jerry Springer Show.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
