If you got divorced, and your former partner demanded that you give them money for the kids they didn’t have with you, what would you do?
This man and his ex-wife have two children together, and they divorced when the kids were 2 and 11 months old. They equally share custody of the kids, and he does have to pay his ex-wife child support since he earns more than she does, but it’s not a big amount of money.
His ex-wife got remarried to a man who has five kids. His ex-wife then went on to have two kids with her new husband, and he thinks she might even be pregnant again.
“I don’t always trust what comes out of her mouth because she has been crazy since meeting her husband. Before they had any children together, they could not afford all 7 kids between them,” he explained.
“She even asked me if I would willingly pay more child support so they can provide better for the other kids. I said no and spoke to my attorney, and I offered to take the kids off her hands if she wanted more freedom, but she turned me down flat and has turned me down any time I reply to her requests for money with I’ll happily take the kids.”
His ex-wife attempted to sue him to get more child support money, but he’s not obligated to help support all the kids he didn’t have with her, nor is he on the hook for financially supporting her husband.
This really is only about the two kids they share, even though his ex-wife refuses to see it that way. His kids are provided for, which is what he cares about, not the rest of his ex-wife’s family members.
His kids are wonderful, and they prefer to be with him, but they are too young to get to pick where they want to live. They dislike being at his ex-wife’s house since it’s full of chaos, and it’s crowded. His kids do not get to have their own rooms, and they don’t enjoy being around their half and stepsiblings.
“My ex will tell me that giving more would change that and would make everybody happier, but it feels like her way of trying to make me pay for her choices to marry a guy with 5 of his own and have 2 more with him when they can’t afford 7, let alone 9,” he added.
“Now we’re on school supplies. I buy school supplies for my kids. They have their names on everything every year, and I make sure I keep them stocked in what they need.”
“My ex and her husband relied on the class supplies last year, and this year they have to do the same again, but their class supplies were low, and a lot of the stuff broke easily, according to her. So she wants me to buy for 8 of the 9 children.”
It’s only 8, not 9, because his ex-wife’s youngest child is not in school due to their age. He told his ex-wife he’s not helping her, but it might be a good idea for her to contact a charity for assistance.
He reminded his ex-wife that he’s still willing to take their kids more often, but she’s not allowing him to do that. His ex-wife has not accepted his answer and keeps trying to guilt or pressure him into giving her money.
He is left wondering if perhaps he should reconsider.
No, no, no, he should not give his ex-wife money or buy school supplies for the kids he didn’t father! That’s just insane! It’s not his fault that his ex-wife’s new husband can’t afford to support their family. That doesn’t mean he should be required to step up.
I think he’s handling his ex-wife in a smart way by telling her he can take their kids on more days. Any time she asks for money or school supplies, he should just keep on repeating that to her like a broken record. Maybe one day she will say yes, or perhaps it will sink in for her that he’s not forking over any cash.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
