If your partner promised to pay their ex a huge sum of money, and then their mom reminded them that they should pay up after years of no contact, would that make you uncomfortable?
This 24-year-old girl has a 25-year-old boyfriend named JM, and they have been dating for the last two years. Before she came along, JM dated his ex-girlfriend for five years.
She was working and had a job, while JM was a student still back then. JM’s family encountered some financial difficulties while he was with his ex, and she gave them a lot of money.
JM has been forthcoming with her about how his ex went to great lengths to support his family and him. He said that if his ex hadn’t helped them all, they would have been destitute.
“Because of that, he made a promise to her years ago that once he became financially stable or successful, he would give her $100,000 as a way of thanking her,” she explained.
“Fast forward to today, JM is now financially stable. Recently, his mom brought up his ex and asked him if he still wanted to send her the money because of everything she did for them.”
“JM told me about this conversation and said that he didn’t want to do it without considering my feelings. He said he respects me, and that’s why he wanted to tell me first.”
She is not exactly thrilled that JM wants to give his ex that money. She does understand that this girl helped JM out in one of the worst moments of his life, and if his ex hadn’t stepped in, JM and his family would have fallen on even harder times.
However, she is unhappy that this gives JM and his ex a chance to reconnect and have some semblance of a relationship going forward.
Even if this only comes down to JM fulfilling a past promise, this means that JM and his ex will still be speaking to one another, which makes her uneasy.
She’s quite torn and can’t tell if she’s being unreasonable over how she feels.
“If you were in my position, how would you handle this? Would you be okay with your partner sending a significant amount of money to an ex as a way of repaying a promise and showing gratitude?” she wondered.
I think she is turning this into a red flag when it’s a green flag. This shows that JM is honorable and keeps his promises, which are both incredible qualities for a person to have.
Her boyfriend hasn’t given her a reason not to trust him, so she should give him the benefit of the doubt here. Reconnecting with his ex to fulfill an old promise doesn’t mean that he is going to fan the fires of the romance they used to have. His ex is his ex for a reason.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
