After He Asked His 19-Year-Old Daughter To Pay Rent, She Accused Him Of Being Controlling
A married dad has 3 children with his wife, and his children are 12, 15, and 19. His oldest daughter, Kate, is the 19-year-old.
Kate did graduate from college a year ago, and she is still living with all of them right at home. Although Kate did get accepted to several colleges after her high school graduation, she chose to not go to any of them.
Kate thought it would be best for her to take “a break from school” and she also was not convinced that college was the best route for her to take in life.
This dad was perfectly fine with Kate’s decision, as was his wife, but he implemented a few guidelines for Kate in order for her to continue living under their roof.
“These were pretty basic rules,” he explained. “She had to work at least 30-hours a week and continue to help around the house.”
“I wanted her to pay a token rent which we would put away and give back to her when she moves out, but my wife disagreed as she wanted Kate to learn to save money on her own.”
So, over the last year, Kate hasn’t paid rent at all as she has kept on living with him and their family.
The biggest issue he has with Kate is that she doesn’t have good habits when it comes to how she spends her money.
As soon as Kate gets paid, she goes out and spends her money on things that he considers to be pretty useless.
BullRun – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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“Her room is full of clothes she will wear maybe once or twice,” he said. “Jewelry, makeup, salon and spa trips, etc.”
“We’ve had many talks with her about being better at saving money, but it always ends up in a fight about it being her money and she can do with it what she wants.”
He does realize that yes, Kate can spend the money she earns on whatever she pleases, yet he believes that if she’s going to keep living with their family, she should probably let them have input on what she’s doing with her money.
He pays for Kate’s food and obviously everything that comes along with her other living expenses, so he wants to help influence her spending habits.
Throughout the whole year that Kate has lived at home, she has managed to save under $1,000, and he thinks she should have managed to squirrel away more money than that.
A couple of days ago, Kate walked in the front door with rainbow-colored hair, and he overheard his son inquiring as to how much Kate had spent on her new look.
When Kate announced that her vibrant hair had set her back $300, this dad pointed out that it was crazy for her to have spent that kind of money on her hair.
“She said it makes her feel good and it’s important for her mental health,” he continued. “I told her that if she can afford to spend $300 on her hair, then she can afford to pay us rent.”
“She immediately got defensive and reiterated that it is her money and she will spend it how she wants. She said I don’t understand why this is important to her and that she hates that I am so controlling over what she does.”
He put his foot down with Kate and said if she’s going to keep living there, he’s allowed to give her input on what she’s doing with her money.
Kate called him a jerk and slammed her bedroom door behind her to end their conversation. His wife has weighed in on what went down between him and Kate, and his wife thinks he needs to support Kate more in what she chooses to do.
He shot back at his wife that he’s not permitting Kate to stay with them while spending money in such a reckless way.
He’s trying to convince his wife that it’s time to get Kate to pay rent, as he doesn’t see how she’s going to be able to learn good spending habits without implementing this rule.
Do you think he’s right in expecting Kate to pay rent, and do you think that will help teach her to be more responsible for when she finally does move out on her own?
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