She’s Spent More Than $1,000 Learning To Ski Since It’s Something Her Boyfriend Is Passionate About, But All He Does Is Put Her Down And Make Her Feel Bad About Making An Effort
A woman has been with her 38-year-old boyfriend for nearly 2 years, and her boyfriend is incredibly passionate about skiing.
Right when she began dating her boyfriend, he told her that he didn’t expect anyone he dated to know how to ski, and it wasn’t a dealbreaker for him that she had never even gone skiing before.
Back then, she stated that she was interested in trying it out, and she figured it could be nice for her to get to learn how to do something he so clearly loved.
As she’s close to 40 herself, she never thought that she would be able to learn to ski and make it to the level he skis at, since he’s been skiing since he was just a kid and has reached a very advanced level, but she knew she would have fun along the way and that’s what counted, right?
Well, not quite. “I dropped $1k on rentals and a ski pass for our first ski season together,” she explained.
“I turn in a car I absolutely LOVED and got an all-wheel drive SUV so we can get up and down safely. I dropped a ton of money into this.”
“I was able to get one lesson in this season because they were all booked up. Despite only having one lesson, I am really happy with how I progressed. However, I could tell my boyfriend was unhappy. He was constantly pushing me to do harder runs and go faster.”
She stood up to him and pointed out that she was in no way ready to attempt to do more advanced things, and she even had to resort to pleading with her boyfriend to let her have some more time to learn.
She then brought up to her boyfriend that on their very first date, she revealed to him that she has an anxiety disorder and she has to be the one in control of boundaries. The fact that he just kept pushing and pushing her about the skiing was resulting in her anxiety spiraling close to out of control.
ZoomTeam – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Eventually, she did give in to her boyfriend’s demands about going on much more difficult runs than she was prepared for, and her anxiety was crippling. She fell a lot and got so overwhelmed.
Although she was clearly struggling and had just wanted to go at a pace that felt comfortable to her, her boyfriend couldn’t care less about her safety or comfort on the slopes.
All in, she has been skiing less than 12 times, but she somehow has managed to do quite well, and she can do green runs (the easiest) and blue runs (more advanced).
She’s proud of how far she has come with just 1 lesson under her belt, but her boyfriend has done nothing but demean and degrade her the whole way.
Her boyfriend has accused her of not liking skiing, and she tried to inform him that she doesn’t like how he decides to treat her as she’s skiing that’s the problem, not the skiing itself.
Her boyfriend maintained that he didn’t have any “expectations” for her, so she said sorry and figured it was her anxiety disorder creeping in and making her misinterpret the situation.
A few months after this conversation, her boyfriend stated again that he didn’t believe she enjoyed skiing, and then he admitted that he really just thought she wasn’t being risky enough in the steps she was taking to learn how to ski.
It turns out, her boyfriend did have very specific expectations for what level he wanted her to be skiing at by now, even though he denied it all along.
“I am so furious,” she said. “First, he gaslit me for months claiming he did not have these expectations and making me literally apologize, thinking it was my anxiety disorder…and even though I have tried to explain why this is such a terrible thing to do to another person, especially your partner, he simply doesn’t understand.”
“I tried using analogies and examples, and the only thing he thinks he did wrong is to not tell me his expectations sooner. I told him that most people would be overjoyed if their partner dropped all the money, time, and effort to learn a hobby they were interested in, and instead, he’s just acting pissed off and ungrateful, like this is all my fault, and I am the problem.”
She mentioned that it’s really hard for her to pick up skiing after spending close to 40 years of her life never having tried it at all, and he really should let her learn at the speed she’s comfortable at.
Well, her boyfriend just kept insisting that she was not “taking the risks” she needed to to get better faster.
“I improve all the time; it’s just not exactly the way and the speed he wants it,” she continued. “I feel so disrespected, and this behavior seems so controlling, but I can’t figure out how to explain it so he understands.”
Her boyfriend did agree to attend therapy with her, but she’s still wondering how she can get through to him so he can realize that how he has treated her all along really isn’t right.
How do you think she can get through to him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe.
New Research Finds Why Narcissists Are More Likely To Believe In Conspiracy Theories
She Received A “Wellness Check” From Her Local Book Store After Ordering Two Dark Novels
More About:Human Interest
Read This Next
