Her Fiancé Just Told Her That He Needs To Take A Break And Look At His Other Options, And Then He Blamed Her Being Too Freaky In Bed As The Reason Why He Can’t Look At Her As Wife Material
A 35-year-old woman has spent nearly 6 years with her 38-year-old fiancé James, and back when they originally began seeing one another, she made it clear what she wanted.
She told James she was ready to settle down and have children (she was in her late 20s) and that she would not change her mind about wanting those things.
James revealed to her that he was on the same page; he also was interested in having children, but he was not positive about how many children he wanted to welcome into the world.
He then insisted that he was looking for a woman that he could start a family with on the earlier side, so by all means, it seemed that their goals for the future aligned.
3 years ago, James actually proposed to her, but in the years since he popped the question, he’s made it more and more clear to her that they’re never going to be making it to the altar.
At first, James was throwing out names of different wedding planners they could hire. He was asking his brother-in-law to take the role of best man.
But then, he was firing their wedding planner in secret and making sure he had no free time in his schedule to even have a wedding.
She then thought that therapy could be a good solution for the both of them in order to work through whatever was going on, but James stopped coming.
On that day, her therapist turned to her and stated they could not convince James to do anything he did not feel like doing.
Magryt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
Her therapist also hinted at the fact that James clearly was not ready to get married to her for whatever reason.
She left her therapist’s office so upset that she quit going for some time, and she refused to see things for what they were.
Eventually, she tried to approach James about what her former therapist had said, and although he freaked out initially, he then revealed that the therapist was right.
James then admitted he didn’t want to get married to her or have children for another year at least, and he blamed her for rushing everything in their relationship before ending the conversation.
Later on, James mentioned to her that he needed to “explore” his other options before then shocking her by saying he didn’t picture her as being the perfect mom to his future kids.
“And he believes in marriage before kids and for the purpose of kids, so that explained the hold off on marriage,” she explained.
“The reason he cites for him not being sure about me is that he thinks our relationship initially went too fast. That we moved in together after a year, and that his parents, who are happily married, continue to have an issue with that. However, the root of the problem is that when we started to get to know each other…he told me he wanted to explore more unconventional interests. One of it included him tying me up…and also him urinating and defecating on me.”
“He said his mind took a picture of those compromising situations, and he cannot get over it. There was sometimes alcohol involved, but we both agreed to do it and only with each other. However, he is now saying that it was horrible and that he doesn’t trust my decisions, especially when alcohol and sleeping together are involved. That if he is looking at our kid or watching me give birth, that will be all he can think of. He said he was sorry but cannot reframe his perception of me into a mother and hates me for it.”
So, her willingness to be more freaky in bed is the reason why James can’t look at her as wife material anymore.
In light of the honesty that James showed her in revealing all of this, she decided to let him know that she was afraid he had already found another woman and was cheating on her.
James insisted there is not another woman in his life, but he happened to be eyeing his sister-in-law’s little sister, who just graduated from college.
James said that all of his friends have been trying to pressure him into pursuing her, considering she is kind, smart, and straight-laced.
“But he admitted that he found younger me way more attractive than her,” she said. “After our talk, I was devastated. He said he was going away for the week to think, but after that week, he asked if he could come back and tried to sleep with me again, getting upset when I refused.”
“What do I do? Some corners of my social circle are saying that he’s just confused and to fight for my 6-year relationship since we were so close to the altar. I really want kids and a family, but I often see resentment in James’ eyes when he looks at me. He never called off the engagement, saying he considers it still on.”
Do you think it’s time for her to dump James and move on, or do you think there’s a chance they might make it to the altar at some point soon and this relationship is worth it?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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