Chip Chick
To help couples deal with communication issues that might arise, here are five common mixed messages that are likely to occur in a new relationship.
#1: Saying you want to hang out with someone but never make any definitive plans to meet up.
Please tell me if this sounds familiar: you meet a great guy at the bar. You two start talking for a few minutes, which turns into a few hours. You talk about everything: your likes, your pet peeves, your hobbies, your job, how much you hate your mom, and everything in between. Sparks are flying, and you feel ecstatic you met this guy. When the end of the night comes, you exchange numbers. You wait to see if he is one of those “waits three days to text you” guys, but he messages you the next morning checking on you.
After that, you guys text all day, every day, for the next couple of weeks. During this time, you repeatedly talk about how awesome it would be to meet up for another fun night or even a coffee date.
He always tells you that would be amazing and would be up for it anytime you want. However, you never set a date for him or throw a date out there. So now, he is probably wondering if you are really into him or if you are stringing him along for some reason.
Another version of this mixed message is when you say you had a great time but, after several days, still have not contacted him further. Again, this can easily confuse him as to whether you like him.
This is common on dating apps and the earliest stages of talking to someone. If you notice that you have a pattern of saying you want to make plans but never actually doing so, you are sending a mixed message.
#2: You are inconsistent in people’s lives.
In this scenario, you meet up with people and hang out but make minimal effort to be a part of their lives unless you are directly looking at them. You have an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality with people.
This disconnect between being attentive and personable in person but not putting any effort in to meet up or check in outside of these in-person meetings, you are sending mixed messages.
In any relationship, we want a partner who is consistent and reliable. If you fail to initiate any calls, dates, or meet-ups yourself but are the perfect partner in person, it can confuse your partner.
